New Beginning
by Emilene
Summary: Tom Kaulitz has always been a playboy. But when he meets a girl who brings out feelings and desires within, he can't decide if he is ready to risk his carefree life for something more. Tokio Hotel :: Tom Kaulitz FanFic.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading! I must say that I am nervous as this is my first fanfic and to be honest I have several ideas on where I will be going with the story.**

**_I do not own, know, or have any affiliation with Tokio Hotel, their management or label. _**

* * *

Sunlight… when was the last time something so bright could be so beautiful? Melodies being sun by doves could be heard in the distance. There was a faint smell of mildew and garbage, mixed in with the aroma of vanilla.

_Where was I?_

As soon as realization hit, loud ringing drowned out her thoughts.

* * *

Routines. Wake up, eat, shower, dress, class, lunch, class, homework, quick snack, work, bed. Rinse and repeat. Constant repetition. Was there ever going to be a new day? Was her life going to be a record on repeat?

"I can't take this anymore!" she groaned while pulling herself out of her bed. Just something different would nice, a change of pace... an **adventure** would be so thrilling. Anything to take her away from this monotony.

Slowly she made her way to the kitchen, poured herself a bowl of cereal and was about to take a bite when she smelled it.

"Ugh, spoiled milk again." When was she ever going to have a chance to go to the store now?

Angrily, she threw the bowl into the sink and watched it crack as it hit the ceramic.

"Great. Anything else that can go wrong today, please do."

A nice hot shower would calm her nerves, it seemed to be one of the few things that made her happy now-a-days. The steam from the shower mixed in with the almost scalding water put her nerves at bay. As she stepped out of the shower she noticed the darkness filling the sky out of the bathroom window. Another day filled with rain.

"It's already June, you would think the weather would be warmer than what it is." she groaned to herself.

But there was a sunny spot to her day, she had a week off of classes and took some days off of work. She was going to go out with close friends that she has not seen in what seemed like weeks. A small smile broke its way across her face as she started to rummage through her closet.

Now that her attitude changed she decided now was a better time than any to go to the market. Emilene through on a pair of faded jeans, vintage basketball t-shirt, deep blue pea coat and her favorite pair of sneakers. Even though the sky was dreary and dark, she decided to walk the few blocks to Ned's Market. Along the way she hummed a few tunes under her breath.

A dry, raspy voice startled her out of her trance.

"Good morning Emilene!"

Ned stood behind the counter smiling at Emilene as she entered his market. Ned was a close family friend and someone Emilene considered like a father.

"Good morning Ned. How is everything going with you today?" Emilene sing-songed.

Usually she was not as chipper, taken a back by her mood Ned just let out a chuckle and left her on her way. He knew why she seemed bitter and didn't hold it against her. Any child that lost their parents young, and then abandoned by their caregivers would have the same attitude. He was glad to see that there were days when she could see the goodness in life and in people.

* * *

This just didn't happen. Emilene looked down at her spilled groceries on the cement and the noticed the mud and street water splashed over her clothes.

"Jerk!" she yelled at the cab and was about to flip him off when she decided it just wasn't worth it.

_What a great way to ruin the day_. She thought to herself.

Slowly she started to gather her things together, when she noticed another set of hands helping her out. She lifted to her head to acknowledge the good samaritan when she stopped.

_What a beautiful smile!_

Emilene began to feel butterflies in her stomach, a feeling she hasn't felt in months.

"...Uh... thank you. I should have been paying attention since these cab drivers are notorious for not giving a care for anyone unless it involves money." Emilene shyly remarked.

"It is not problem. When I see beautiful girl in need, I must help." The striking young man replied in broken English.

"You're not from around here, are you? Are you visiting someone in the city?" Emilene took noticed to what seemed to be a thick German accent.

"You could say that." the young man replied with a smirk.

They were able to fit everything in several of the bags that did not rip. Emilene sighed as she looked back down on herself and took note that she smelled and needed to take a shower immediately. She returned her attention on her rescuer and caught him watching her. There was something mysterious about him, but alluring at the same time. His style was not one that usually caught her attention, his baggy jeans, oversized t-shirt layered with a deep purple hoodie and black bandana tied around his head. His hair was pulled into little black cornrows across his head, and she took notice of his black lip ring. Guys like this just never really attracted her, but now she noticed that she **wanted** to know him. Her cheeks began to heat up and she realized that she was blushing and knew that he caught her studying him.

"Thank you again for helping me, most people would just have walked on by." Emilene felt her cheeks burn more and the butterflies intensified in her stomach.

_What was going on? I don't even know this man and I feel like I **need** to know him!_

"I apologize, but I am late for meeting. Maybe I will run into you again?" the young man replied with a sly smile.

Emilene nodded and smiled, thanking the young man again. As he walked by she caught the faint scent of his cologne and let the scent linger in her nose. She turned around watching him walk away when she realized she didn't catch his name.

"I'm Emilene!" she shouted, ignoring the looks from passer-bys.

"Nice to meet you Emilene, until... we meet again." replied young man. He then turned back around and a slow smile crept across his face.

"But... you're not going to tell me your name?" Too late, by then he was lost in the crowd.

The incident with the taxi was now erased from her mind. She couldn't get the image and scent from the out-of-town stranger from her mind. As she turned around on her heels she began to hum tunes under her breath on the walk back to her apartment.

"So a handsome stranger comes along, helps you out and you don't even try to get his name?" Michelle questioned.

"I... don't know what happened. It was like my brain just shut off and I was just in awe of him. Michelle, you have no idea, he was gorgeous! Nothing like these City guys, who always feel they have to strut around, trying to prove something."

Michelle continued to gaze at Emilene with a questioning look and threw her magazine on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

"So a handsome stranger comes along, helps you out and you don't even _try_ to get his name?" Michelle questioned.

"I... don't know what happened. It was like my brain just shut off and I was just in awe of him. Michelle, you have no idea, he was gorgeous! Nothing like these City guys, who always feel they have to strut around, trying to prove something."

Michelle continued to gaze at Emilene with a questioning look and threw her magazine on the floor.

"Sometimes I just don't understand you. Well enough of this, get ready because we are going to be late."

Michelle Umana has been Emilene's friend since they were in kindergarten. She fondly remembered how they met, it was when Christian Moore pushed Emilene into a mud puddle because she would not share her chocolate pudding pack with him. Michelle came running up to Christian and kicked him in the stomach. Granted she had detention for a week because of the incident, but Emilene stayed with her in detention. It was in detention that they learned about their shared love of Barbie, Sailor Moon, orange sherbet, and playing soccer. Of course as they grew up their shared interests expanded into music, movies, guys, fashion, and art.

"What time did you say we would meet everyone? What is the name of this place again?" Emilene asked while curling her hair.

Michelle looked up from another magazine and rolled her eyes.

"We are suppose to meet Ian at eight, but the rate you are going it may be around nine." chuckled Michelle.

"Anyways, the place is Nyne, it's the new club that opened up on Broadway and rumor is that this place is suppose to be THE spot. You have to know somebody, that is a somebody, to get in."

Emilene sighed, she always felt a bit guilty when Ian was able to get them into the new "It" spots. Ian never seemed to mind since he worked for the largest PR firm in New York, and it did give Emilene a chance to get name and art out there in the public eye.

"Ok, do I look presentable... Miss Fashionista?" Emilene twirled around at Michelle's feet.

"I must say... someone finally took heed to my advice!"

Emilene stopped twirling and glanced at herself in the mirror. Her golden curls hung loosely around her face, partially hiding her delicate features. Her chocolate brown eyes stood out against the pale pink eyeshadow and black metallic colored eye liner, a light, but subtle blush colored gloss coated her lips. Her outfit was made up of dark straight leg jeans with her favorite black knee high boots over them. A heather grey scoop neck t-shirt was covered by a short, black vest. A few strands of silver and black adorned her neck.

Emilene smirked at Michelle as she gathered her items in her purse. "I guess you can say that I had a little boost of confidence today!"

* * *

"I thought you two were not going to show up! I was about to go inside, good thing I saw you when I did!" huffed Ian.

Michelle let out a small laugh. "Oh Ian it was worth it. Now you can enter with two of the most beautiful girls in New York!"

Ian let out a small sigh and shuffled the two girls to the front door. Since Ian worked at Fishman PR, one of New York's largest and most prominant PR firms, it was very easy to get an invite to the hottest parties and newest "It" places. Tonight was no exception, the bouncer just glanced at Ian, unhooked the red velvet rope and let us inside. Once inside, Emilene new exactly why Nyne had such a reputation. Red and black leather couches were scattered about, seperated by small, rectangular glass tables. Tiny, round mirrors hung from the ceiling reflecting the dim lighting off the walls. Dark red paint adorned the walls, covered with paintings from such talents as Salvador Dali, Henri Matisse, Claude Monet, and Francisco de Goya. Then the people that filled the venue were some of the most gorgeous people she ever saw. Slowly, Emilene began to recognize some of the faces that danced across her television late at night, that filled her car with some of her favorite melodies. Then she saw **him**. The dark braids, his lip ring glistening in the dim lighting, and the faint sound of his voice.

Whether it was nerves or not knowing what exactly to do, Emilene turned around and started her way back to her friends. It was then, she realized that she had wandered away from them once they entered the club, and did not take notice what area they were heading too.

A deep voice cooed from behind. "We meet again."

_It was him! _Slowly, she turned around and met face-to-face with her stranger._ Did he notice her staring at him dumbfoundly?_

"I guess... you can say it is a meeting of... fate."

_Idiot! Meeting of fate? Where did that come from?_

His right eyebrow raised, and he was giving her a questioning look. "Fate? Have to admit, that is first time I had a girl say that to me." He purred.

Emilene didn't know what to say, her mouth was dry, her palms became sweaty and she felt her body begin to get warm. Her cheeks slowly started to heat up and her legs started to tremble.

_What is going on? Why do I feel like putty around him?_

His scent began to take over her senses, and the remnants of his voice replayed in her mind.

He began to take notice that her demeanor changed. He watched her delicate face turn a light shade of crimson red. He noticed how she clenched and unclenched her fists. Her eyes are what captivated him, the deep chocolate brown color showed him a kind, gentle soul. He could stare into her eyes for hours, but then reality hit and he composed himself.

He stretched out his hand. "Tom."

Looking down at the outstretched hand, she placed it into hers and took notice at how soft, but lightly rough his hands were. She felt a ripple of energy throughout her body and let out a small gasp. Slowly, she looked back at Tom's face. "A name to my mysterious rescuer."

* * *

Ian and Michelle were watching Emilene and the stranger from a distance.

Playing with the straw in her drink, Michelle started to giggle. "I wonder if that is her mystery man from earlier today?"

Ian turned to look at Michelle with interest in his eyes. "Please tell me why you kept this from me?"

Michelle laughed again and repeated the incident as Emilene told her, when she was done Ian had a huge grin on his face and turned his attention back to his friend.

"From the looks of it, Emilene is becoming quite enamored with the young man."

Michelle turned her attention back on the two. She could sense the nervousness and curiosity from Emilene, but also noticed that the young man had a sense of longing for her dear friend.

"Ian, I think she will be just fine tonight. We should get back to our area and enjoy the night."

Ian watched Michelle turn around and make her way back to their V.I.P section. Normally he would be a little irked by her nonchalant attitude, but not tonight. He knew that if Emilene needed them, she could find them. He let out a sigh and made his way back with Michelle.


	3. Chapter 3

Tom looked down at his hand and back up to Emilene's wide eyes.

_Did he just feel it also? Was I imagining it?_

Just as he was about to ask if she wanted a drink he heard his name from behind.

"Tom!"

Bill was making his way through the crowd and when he saw Tom and the striking young woman holding their hands up, as if they were in the middle of a handshake.

"Tom, I've been looking for you. David got us a section near the back..." Bill cut himself out mid-sentence knowing that his brother wasn't paying attention to him.

Emilene turned her attention to the tall, slim man. His hair was dark black as Tom's, but slicked back. His eyes were also a deep brown, but his face was more delicate looking than Tom's. He was covered in all black, except for the occasional gleam of silver from his belt buckle, necklaces, and chains on his leather jacket. A shy smile creeped upon her lips and she dropped Tom's hand as she turned her attention to the man standing next to him.

"Sorry, it was my fault. I ran into Tom earlier and he was just now introducing himself to me. I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

_What were these words coming from her mouth? Her mind was clouded and she was just rambling and apologizing?_

A loud laugh escaped both boys mouth.

"I like her!" Bill squealed. A large smile overtook his face and he held out a small hand. "Name is Bill!"

Laughing at Bill's energy, Emilene took Bill's hand. "Emilene."

"Em...i...lynn?" Bill's eyebrows arched as he struggled to say her name.

"Emilene. Em...a...lean. Or you can call me Emma for short."

"Em...a...lean. Emma is easier!" declared Bill.

_I have not laughed like this in a while! This is all too much, but yet I want more. I want to learn about **him**. I want to know **him**._

"This is not the first time Tom has been distracted by a pretty woman."

A hint of red covered Tom's cheeks as Bill uttered the words. "Don't listen to him! Bill gets distracted by anything shiny, new, or interesting!"

Emilene watched the playful banter continue between the two. Then she heard a string of giggles, noticing that they were coming from her.

Tom and Bill stopped their bickering, and looked at Emilene. Bill started to laugh along with her and grabbed her arm. "Come on! You are going to be our guest of honor tonight!"

"Guest of honor?"

Tom turned his attention towards her. "Yes, Bill is basically on a planet of his own."

Bill lead her to their V.I.P section. It was a little area sectioned off by clouded glass, white leather couches were arranged in a U shape, with a square glass table in the middle. From across the way she spotted Ian and Michelle in their section. She noticed the thumbs up Michelle was giving her and the assuring smile Ian was radiating. She felt a vibration in her lap and realized it was her cell phone.

_Don't worry about us tonight! Tonight is your night, you have fun with your mystery man and let us know all about it tomorrow. XOXO Ian & Michelle._

Her friends were just too much, a soft chuckle escaped her lips. _They are just looking out for me and want me to have a good time. They are right, I do deserve it._

_

* * *

_

_What were the odds that he would run into her tonight? When he caught a glimpse of her from the corner of his eye, he stopped his conversation with Bill and started making his way towards her. Something about her kept pulling him closer. He wanted to know her. He never felt the urge to get to know a woman, usually they were just an object of his desire to discard in the morning. But this was different, there was something in her eyes that captivated him, enraptured him. He was scared of what he was feeling, but invigorated at the same time. Caution was thrown to the wind and he decided to take a chance._

_When she caught him approaching her, he noticed how she became 'uncomfortable'? He couldn't really sense how she felt, possibly, nervous? But it was when he shook her hand he felt it, and he knew she felt it too. How her soft, brown eyes became large and displayed the look of intrigue and surprise. His gaze couldn't be deterred from her eyes, it was like he became lost in them. The world meant nothing to him and for all he knew they were the only two in the club. A soft scent of vanilla overtook his senses and he felt a weakness in the bottom of his stomach. She truly took his breath away._

_Now, here they are sitting next to each other and he watched as she read a message on her phone. A small smile formed on her pink lips, and he couldn't help himself from grinning also. The way her loose blonde curls fell around her face and draped her neck invited him. Her small, but delicate hand felt warm against his when they shook hands, he looked down at his right hand remembering how hers fit into his perfectly. _

_It was now, that Tom knew, he would give anything in the world to have Emilene by his side._


	4. Chapter 4

The night ended too soon. The way he laughed at her jokes, how his scent lingered on her clothes and the image of his smile, burned into her mind. Now as she was heading towards the the night, she wanted to stay by his side and was willing to put her inhibitions aside for one night with him. Michelle and Ian had left hours ago, usually she would have left with them, but tonight she stayed until Nyne shut down. She felt free again, like there wasn't a care in the world. When she was with him, it felt like nothing else mattered and although she didn't want to admit it... it scared her.

The cool air felt crisp against her skin, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She scanned the street to find a empty cab, a few feet down she spotted one. Slowly she began to make her way over, not realizing just how tired she was. A strong arm grabbed around her waist.

"Where do you think your going?" the sultry voice was smooth like velvet.

"My friends left and I need to get home somehow." her voice was tired and weak.

"Let me give you a ride home, so I know you made it ok."

Emilene turned around and swayed into Tom's chest. His arms wrapped around her as he guided her to his waiting black SUV. He buried his face in her soft hair, trying to absorb the smell of her coconut shampoo. As they reached the waiting SUV, Tom opened the door and helped her into the back. Bill turned when he saw Emilene enter the SUV and a huge smile took over his face.

Bill took notice of how tired she was and scooted over to the window behind the driver's seat. He grabbed Emilene's hand as she made her way next to him, seeing the exhaustion on her face, he pulled her next to him letting her head fall on his shoulder. Tom gently shut the door and took the spot next to her. Tom turned his attention to her and saw that she was fast asleep on Bill's shoulder.

"We need to find out her address so we can take him home." Tom whispered over to Bill.

Not wanting to wake her up, Bill stretched his left arm to grab Emilene's purse. Not feeling good about looking through her things, he thrusted it towards Tom. "Find her phone and see if you can find her address on it."

Tom let out a heavy sigh and grabbed her purse. He didn't feel right going through her things, but he didn't know what else to do. He couldn't take her back to his room, he didn't want her to have the wrong idea.

_Wrong idea? Usually I love having women come in and out like a revolving door._

Tom found her phone at the bottom of her purse, he never understood why women always had such big purses and they were always filled with crap. He stared down at her phone before going through her address book, there he saw Michelle's name. Emilene talked fondly of her friend through their idle talks. The time was 3 a.m., and he hoped that her friend would not be upset with him calling late. He was about to hang up when on the last ring, a very groggy Michelle answered.

"Em? Are you ok? Why are you calling so late?"

Tom took a deep breath. "Uh, this is Tom. Emilene is with me, but she is asleep, I don't want to disturb her, but I need her address to get her home."

"Tom? Tom who?"

Tom played with his lip ring, he was sure that he remembered seeing Emilene texting a photo of herself and Tom that she took to Michelle.

A soft grumble shook him from his thoughts. "Oh, I'm sorry... your the guy that Emilene has been talking about... she lives in Brookside Apartments. They are just five blocks up the road, make a left on Chambers and they will be on your right. Her apartment is 562, on the top floor."

"Thank you, I'm sorry again to have woken you up."

"Mhhmmm... its ok. Just take care of her."

Silence. Light snoring was coming through the other line. _She must have fallen back asleep._

He relayed the directions back to the driver and was about to put her phone back in her purse, when he sighed and programmed his number in her phone. He noticed Bill watching him and shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm very proud of you."

Tom rolled his eyes and placed her phone back in her purse. He put the purse in between his feet and draped his arm over her back.

"Not now Bill."

Bill kept his gaze on his brother and replayed Tom's actions. Only half listening to Bill ramble on about how he was being a gentleman, and finally learned something from his "little brother", Tom rested his head against the back of the seat and drifted off to sleep. The sudden stop shook Tom from his restful slumber, he looked over and saw that Emilene was not disturbed at all. _She sure can sleep._

He nodded to Bill, who helped prop her up against the seat, and the driver came around the side of the SUV to carry her out. They made their way to her apartment on the top floor, once at her door, Tom fumbled through her purse again and found her keys. Quietly, he entered her apartment and fumbled along the wall trying to find a light switch, his fingers brushed against one and turned it on. He took a quick glance around taking in the paintings on the walls, the eclectic taste in furniture that decorated her apartment, before coming to what he deemed her bedroom. The driver place Emilene on her bed and Tom pulled a blanket over her body. Silently, he and the driver made their way out of her apartment and back out to the waiting SUV.

As the SUV drove away Tom rested his head back against his seat and began to think.

_What am I doing?_


	5. Chapter 5

Savory sweetness filled her nostrils. It enraptured her body and lightened her soul, she didn't want the smell to go away but yet she didn't want to succumb to the light. Hastily, she threw off her blankets and made her way into the kitchen, there she saw were several fluffy stacks of blueberry pancakes. Emilene started to eat when she realized that she didn't remember coming home... and who was in her apartment? Struck by fear, she ran into her bedroom and got her old basball bat that was kept hidden under the bed. She slowly tip-toed through the hallway, when she heard the sink in the bathroom. Emilene pressed her body on the wall opposite of the bathroom door and held the bat ready to swing. She saw the light turn off from underneath the door, and watched as the door opened.

"Oh my gosh Em! What are you doing?!"

_It was just Michelle, she must have came by to see if I made it home alright._

Noticing that she was holding her breathe, Emilene slowly exhaled. "Sorry Michelle, the smell of the pancakes woke me up and then I realized that I did not remember even coming home last night!"

Michelle started giggling, causing Emilene to raise her eyebrows to her. "Something funny Michelle?"

Making her way back to the kitchen, Michelle made a plate of pancakes for herself. "Tom called me last night to get your address and bring you home. I guess you fell asleep once you got into the car."

"But how did he get in?"

"He probably used your keys."

"He went through my purse?!" Emilene made her way over to her purse on the couch

"Don't get worked up over it, I highly doubt he would find any dark secrets in there." Michelle sarcastically replied while rolling her eyes.

"How did he get your number? You and Ian never stopped by to meet them..."

An exaggerated sigh slipped through Michelle's lips. "Sometimes you can be really dense Em."

Looking back in her purse, Emilene saw the glint of metal from her phone. She pulled it out and looked through her recent calls. Sure enough, Michelle was the last call made. But before putting her phone down, Emilene went through her contacts, thats when she saw Toms name and phone number.

She didn't know what to do. Call him? Wait until he calls her? Well, lets if he even tried getting her number from Michelle! Instead she decided to text him, being surprised at how bold she was last night, her shyness began to show.

_Thank you for bringing me home. It means a lot. -- Em_

_

* * *

_

Coffee. They all really needed the extra boost to get them started today. Interviews in the morning, a television appearance on TRL with a performance and then two days of relaxation. Those two days could not have come closer, but behind those two days loomed more interviews, traveling and starting up their tour.

The first interview went good, the usual questions were asked. But Bill was his chipper self as always, making everyone laugh with his high energized antics and Tom's usual comments on how he was practically a god to women. Both Georg and Gustav would just roll their eyes and comment where they felt fit. Afterwards, the guys made their way back to their hotel to grab some lunch. After several sandwiches and a few cokes the group felt re-energized as the caffiene flowed through their bodies.

"Her name is Emilene Halsted, and she is a graphic artist with MTV." Gustav read from the MTV Web site.

"Oh! Tom, that means you will see her later today! See, this good be a great thing for you. Finally a girl that could calm you down." Bill taunted.

Grunting, Tom cleaned up the kitchenette in his room as the guys kept poking jabs at him.

"I always thought that I would be the one to settle before him, but I was amazed at how gentleman like he was with her."

Thats when Bill went to far, Tom was not going to "settle down" nor try to pursue anything with Emilene. He believed in love for one night and that was it. He was going to continue living out his playboy ways until he felt he was ready to be tied down, even that was a long shot.

"I don't not want a relationship with her. I was just being nice, seeing if a different approach would work in getting women like her in bed with me!"

Georg and Gustav just shook their heads and started to play Call of Duty on their lap tops. Both placed their headphones on, knowing a battle with the twins was about to happen.

Bill's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Thomas! You need to stop viewing women as objects! Emma is a nice girl, a rare one at that from conversations I gathered with her last night. I won't let you use her and then discard her once you are through!"

Tom got in Bill's face, and just stared at him. He knew what he did was wrong, but how could it be so wrong when the girls are willing to be his object of lust? He was getting tired of the judgement and lectures, he decided that before things get any worse to drop it. It wasn't worth getting into a fight with Bill and he would be out of New York in a few days anyway.

"I give up! I am going to lay down and try to take a nap before our interview at MTV." Tom turned his back on Bill as he made his way into his bedroom. He shut the door, pulled the curtains closed on the window and fell into bed. Part of him was hoping that he would run in Emilene. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, a smile crept on his face when he read the text message.

* * *

It was always chaotic at MTV, no matter what department you worked in. Luckily for Emilene, her office was away from most of the confusion and chaos, the art and publications teams were nestled in their own section of the building. Not many ventured to the east side of the building as they considered it "boring." For her, that was ok, she preferred the quietness and listening to her music play from the computer. She couldn't stand listening to the same forty-fifty songs that played over again on the loudspeaker. She turned her chair around and looked out to the street. Below hundreds of teens stood on the street with signs decorated with hearts, "I love..." and random band names, although there were more Tokio Hotel signs in the crowd. Then she remembered that Tokio Hotel was their music guest today. She grabbed her notebook and pen and made her way over to photography, she loved watching Rico do his magic while taking photos. Rico also requested that she be present to edit the photos on site as Rico wanted to give the band a live preview of them. It was rare since Rico always sent the photos to whomever' management several days after the shoot, but Tokio Hotel was different. They were garnering a lot of buzz and many viewers keep requesting to see more of them. Emilene really didn't know who was in the band, only that they are from Germany and the next big thing.

"This is exciting Em! You are able to showcase your talents for a huge band!" squealed Michelle.

Emilene turned around and laughed with her friend. Michelle worked with Rico, she was in charge of dressing guests for interviews and photo ops. She scurried past Emilene with her hands full of shirts, jeans, Dickies, hats and some leather... all black.

"They are probably one of the coolest guys I have met working here, and you won't believe who they are!"

Who they are? Emilene just shook her head and watched as Michelle rounded the corner almost taking out some of the interns who haphazardly tried to grab the toppling pile of clothing from her hands.

Interested in knowing the identities of the guys, Emilene walked over to the green room for TRL. Inside she found an array of baked goods and beverages, trying to not succumb to her sweet tooth before the photo shoot, she walked past and entered Evan's office.

As she entered, Evan's looked up from his computer screen. "What is it Em?"

"I was wondering if you had a photo or something so I know who Tokio Hotel are?" She didn't understand why she was nervous all of a sudden.

"On top of my filing cabinet are some news releases with photos of them. I can't believe you don't know who they are and you are going to be assisting Rico?!" laughed Evan's.

Walking over to his filing cabinet the news releases were on top of the pile. A small gasp escaped her lips.

"What is it?"

"N-n-othing! Thank you very much Evans, and good luck out there!" with a dash she left his office and hoped he didn't poke fun of her on camera. Evans had a habit of making Emilene a joke whenever he hosted TRL and she did something he warranted hilarious.

_Why didn't he tell me? Well, actually I don't expect him to just come out and tell a stranger, "I'm Tom Kaultiz of Tokio Hotel by the way!" Idiot! I hope I look alright? Oh too late to even worry about it. I wonder if he knows I work here? I can't believe I am going to be editing THEIR photos! Why today out of all days did Rico want me to assist? I just need to be calm, hopefully my palms won't sweat, I won't stutter and go on like a bumbling fool. Ugh! I am doing it now!_

"And here she is! Emilene does magnificient work and will make you young men look absolutely beautiful!" exclaimed Rico.

_What a great introduction Rico... don't put anymore pressure on me._

She could feel their eyes looking at her. "Does she always look like she is about to vomit?" Bill asked while looking at her worriedly.

_Close your mouth and be professional! Don't stare, just act like you normally do._ "Sorry, just a little winded from trying to get down here in time!" she whispered.

"Well now that introductions are over, lets get to work!"

The day went very smoothly, Georg and Gustav made her laugh very easily with their witty one liners and cheesy jokes. Bill had a little "diva" in him and he played on it, making everyone laugh. Tom would just pick on the guys to get the whole crew laughing and focus attention back on him, but the playful banter between Bill and Tom was funny and cute. Showing her editing and artistic skills to their photos was slightly unnerving at first, but once her confidence built up it was much easier as the day went on. It helped when Bill kept commenting on how beautiful he looked and that Georg's hair was shiny and soft looking. A few times she would catch Tom staring at her, when she would turn and catch him, he would smile and wink at her, as if they were sharing an inside joke. The guys hung around after their shoot to kill some time before they were to go on TRL to be interviewed. As she was working on the last several photos, it felt like someone was behind her, she turned to see Tom watching her work.

"I said if I never got into music that I would be a graphic artist."

"That is my job here, but I also help Rico when his main assistant is out of town."

"I am glad that I ran into you today." His smile as he spoke made her feel weak. She felt the heat as it rushed to her cheeks.

"I'm glad too, despite not knowing that **you** were apart of Tokio Hotel, and just learning exactly who your guys are earlier today." she made a mental note to smack herself in the face later on for not thinking before she spoke.

Tom started to laugh, and it made her feel a bit embarassed, the heat on her cheeks intensified. "Please don't be upset, I am happy to know that you were able to meet me as Tom Kaulitz and not as Tom Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel."

Tom stepped forward and gave Emilene a reassuring hug, she took in the scent of his cologne and felt the hardness of his muscles underneath his shirt. "I'll see you later Emma." he whispered in her ear.


	6. Chapter 6

Today could have not been a more perfect day. She was able to work with Rico, which is always a plus, but she also got closer to Tom. Her heart fluttered every time she said his name. What was it about him that drew her in? There was some connection, but she wasn't able to quite figure it out.

Emilene stood in her kitchen contemplating her life, and what exactly was going to happen with Tom. He was in a very famous band, and after doing a little research; she found something's about his lifestyle that didn't sit right with her.

It was during an interview with a Germany talk show; Bill talks about how he is looking for his true love, and that he will know it. When he does no words will have to be spoken, that it's an instant spark that clicks. Tom, on the other hand, says he is just looking for love for one night. She knew that rock stars like to have their fun, and since they are young, it was also understandable.

_But he was acting so sweet; he even took the care of making sure she got home ok._

She let out a loud sigh. Perhaps, this is just a nice distraction. They are so use to girls getting worked up, and throwing themselves on them. Maybe he is taking a different approach, hoping to get me in bed with him. Maybe I…

She stopped herself. There was no way Emilene was going against what she believed to have a fling with Tom.

_Perhaps I am just thinking too much into this. It's a nice friendship forming; I just need to make sure it stays that way._

The loud wail of her doorbell made her jump and come out of her thoughts.

Looking through the peephole, Emilene didn't see anyone at her door. She unlatched the deadbolt and opened the door, revealing a empty hallway. A sweet smell caught her attention, and she looked down at her feet. There was a bouquet of lilies with a card attached to them. She picked up the heavy crystal vase, kicked the door shut with her foot, and gently laid the flowers on her dining room table.

Emilene reached for the white card holding her breathe. She didn't know who would send her flowers; it wasn't her birthday, or any type of holiday that she could think of. She didn't want to jump to conclusions, so she opened up the envelope and slid out the tacky, clip art card.

_No matter how hard I try, I can't get you out of my mind. I want to see you before I leave._

_--Tom_

Her heart skipped a beat. She re-read the words over and over. Before she knew it, she heard a phone ringing in her ears, and then the deep voice took over her senses.

* * *

It wasn't like Tom to go out of his way for someone; he walked out of the florist twice, and after several minutes of arguing in his head, he decided on the lilies that kept grabbing his attention. _Like her._

_What am I doing? What should I be doing?_

He knew the answer to that; he had several phone numbers from the recent cd signing earlier that day. The normal tall, thin, big breasted blondes all flocked towards him. They would stand in front of him twirling their hair around their little, pink manicured fingers. Laughing at everything he said, pretending it was the most interesting thing they ever heard. Frowning when they had to leave and move down the line, but they would always lean over the table, giving Tom a peak of what he **could** have. Letting their cheap perfume flood his senses, and stuffing a small white piece of paper with their phone number. Usually their names would be Britney, Jessica, Stephanie or as such. He would program the numbers in his phone under a separate address book dedicated to his sexual conquests. If they satisfied him, he would keep their numbers and call them when he was back in town. If they were boring and did nothing for him, he would delete them. In a way he was proud of his conquests, it was more of a trophy for him than anything else. Inflated his ego, even if it was only for a short time.

Deep down Tom wanted to experience love, he wouldn't admit it, but he knew Bill sensed it. After his one night stands Bill could see the loneliness in Tom's eyes. Tom tried to hide it behind jokes and poking fun of Bill, but how much longer could he continue like this?

Tom made his way back to the hotel they were staying at. As he stepped onto the elevator he felt worn down. It could be from all the traveling and promoting, or perhaps the practicing for their up coming tour? No, he was tired of what he was doing, being with a different girl each night. It would be nice to come back to a warm body that was familiar, that he could confide in. Sure he had Bill, but sometimes there were things we would like to share with someone else.

The ding of the elevator doors opening shook him out of his daydream. Tom noticed he has been doing a lot of that lately, he was sure that Bill and the guys caught on also.

As he entered his hotel room he flicked on the lights in the kitchen. Tom slowly made his way over to the white leather couch in his hotel's living room. As soon as his eyelids became heavy, his phone vibrated against his left thigh.

He didn't want to answer it, he just wanted to rest for a bit. But the nagging vibration didn't give up, with a grunt he pulled the phone out of his pocket without looking at the caller id.

"Hello?"

A faint gasp could be heard on the other line, as if the person did not realize they were calling him.

"T..Tom?"

His angriness from being disturbed melted away as soon as he heard her voice.

"I…I am sorry to bother you, but thank you. Too be honest I didn't expect you to send me flowers, but I would love to see you again. Before you leave that is."

He sensed nervousness and a of bit sadness in her voice. His stomach felt uneasy… were these _butterflies_?

"Tonight, come to the Waterway Hotel around seven. Go to the front desk and give them your name. They will give you a key so you can access the floor I am on."

"Seven…at Waterway Hotel. Ok. I will see you then. Bye Tom."

Before he could say anything the phone went dead. He dropped the phone on the floor and drifted in sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Seven. Tonight. At his hotel?! The flip-flops began in her stomach again. Emilene let herself fall onto her bed, looking at the ceiling with a wide smile.

_What should I wear? I mean, I don't want to look awful, but then again I don't want to look to overdressed._

She rolled off her bed and skipped to her closet. Now, everything just look too cheap, too drab, too colorful or too revealing. Then she remembered the bag of clothes Michelle brought over a few weeks ago, after styling a photo shoot for a tv show. She rummaged through the back of her closet until she found the big, black bag. She threw the articles of clothing on her bed, starting to arrange them into an outfit she would feel comfortable in.

After an hour, the outfit was chosen. She admired the dark blue denim skinny pants, partnered with a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbow. She wrapped several beaded necklaces around her neck and let them drape over and inside her shirt. Matching bracelets dangled on her left arm as she pulled her loosely curled hair into a low ponytail. The boots were her own black, knee high boots that she always wore, they were like her safety net. After all the work of picking out an outfit, only the jewelry was what she chosen from Michelle's bag.

She glanced at her bedside clock and noticed that it was 6:45 p.m. The flip-flops returned as she made her way out the door and into the crowded streets of New York.

* * *

The Waterway Hotel was magnificent. The inside looked like it was from the Victorian era, with huge vases filled with fragrant freesia and white roses. Chandeliers hung from the ceilings, with mirrors bouncing the sparkling light around the hotel lobby.

Casually, she made her way to the hotel's front desk. Elliot was the name of the front desk attendant.

"Hi, I'm Emma, I am here to meet a friend and he told me to check in at the front desk."

Elliot typed into his computer, gave a smile and handed her a key. "Please use the elevators, insert the key next to number 25. The elevator will take you to that floor. When you arrive, you will proceed to Room 483."

With a smile, Emilene grabbed the key, "Thank you Elliot."

As she entered the elevator she inserted the key next to number 25. Her hands were shaking as she brought them back to her sides. Slowly she was breathing in and out, trying to calm herself down, trying to stop herself from collapsing. As soon as she reached composure, the elevator doors opened, revealing a empty hallway.

_Room 483._

She looked at the first few doors and saw that she had to keep walking down the hallway to reach Tom's room. Finally, she was standing in front of his door. She felt her body freeze, she couldn't bring her hand up to knock, and her mind became clouded with "What ifs?"

She shook her head and lightly knocked on his door. She gasped as Tom appeared in front of the open door. He had on a pair of baggy dark denim jeans, with a black oversize t-shirt. This time he didn't have anything on his head, and Emilene saw the beauty in his face. She realized she was staring.

"Hi", she shyly said with a small smile.

"Why don't you come in, or are your going to stand in the hallway all night?", Tom remarked with a sly grin.

Emilene entered his room and saw that it was not a room, but a suite. A little kitchen was to her left, with a small dining room to the right. In front of her were a cozy sized living room and two doors to the right, which she assumed was the bedroom and the bathroom.

"Dinner should be arriving any minute", Tom motioned for her to sit at the dining room table with him.

After she took her seat, room service arrived with dinner. In front of her was an array of fresh salad, pasta, white fish, and mixed vegetables. Together they enjoyed the meal, talking about their childhood, how Tom and Bill were "found", and how to met Georg and Gustav to become Tokio Hotel. Emilene spoke of her rough childhood, but not giving too much detail, as she didn't think it was the appropriate time. Tom was interested in her art, and knowing how she knew that she wanted to make art her life passion.

Emilene wanted to see what the city looked like at night from his balcony. The crisp, night air felt good against her skin. She saw her breath faintly as she breathed; Tom stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. It sent shivers through her body.

"Are you cold?" he whispered gently in her ear. The warmth of his breath brought goose bumps to her neck.

She shook her head, and the continued to watch the streets below. She turned herself around, with her face a bit below Tom's. He was several inches taller than her, and she giggled at the thought of being on her toes to kiss him.

Without thinking, she propped herself on the tip of her toes and leaned into his face. She was reluctant at first, but then pressed her lips against Tom's. Letting her vanilla lip-gloss get on his lips, letting the butterflies intensify in her stomach. She felt Tom wrap his arms around her tighter and he pulled her in close. Her body was pressed against his, and she her heartbeat was so fast; she believed that he could feel it.

Tom's hand moved their way up to her hair, grabbing handfuls as he pulled her in closer. The smell of him filled her nostrils, and the taste of him was divine. Somehow they made their way back to the living room, on the white leather couch. Their heavy panting and gasps could be heard in between their kisses. Emilene propped herself on Tom's lap, running her hands on his chest. She felt Tom's hands move to the front of her shirt, and he began to slowly unbutton it.

That's when Emilene stopped; she pulled herself away from Tom, got off of his lap and sat next to him. She was trying to regain her breath, her composure.

"What is wrong Emma?"

She turned away from Tom's questioning look, and buttoned up her shirt. "I… I can't do this. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it further."

Tears began to well up in her eyes as she spoke; she felt a hand brush her hair away from her face. She looked up to Tom's sweet face; he didn't look upset or hurt by what happened. Instead, his eyes displayed comfort and longing.

"We don't have to do anything your not comfortable with."

Emilene smiled, "I think I should go, I need to get some fresh air. Thank you again for dinner, it was very sweet."

She made her way to the door, as she opened it Tom grabbed her free arm.

"Please stay."

She pulled herself into Tom, and took in the smell of him. "I'm sorry, I can't. It's not you at all Tom, I just can't right now."

As she pulled away she saw sadness in his eyes, again, she reached on her toes and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Please don't forget me Tom."

Emilene waited until she was in the elevator to let the sobs come, she didn't want to leave him, leave the moment, but she couldn't go through with it. She wouldn't let herself be another conquest, but the pain in her heart was strong. She knew that she fell for him in a matter of days.


	8. Chapter 8

_Emma... left._ Tom was standing with his back against his hotel door for several minutes not believing that she left.

"_Please don't forget me Tom."_

The last words she uttered before she slipped out the door. He thought he saw tears well up in her eyes. Why would she be crying? He felt emptiness inside of him, the kiss with Emma was nothing he experienced before. It was like all his senses were on overload, the softness of her skin, and the sweet taste of vanilla on her lips, the faint smell of coconut in her hair. He wanted her more, and then she pulled herself away.

He didn't want her for just pleasure, he want **her**. He wanted to connect with her on a different level, letting them explore each other.

His phone started to ring, probably Bill checking up to see how their date was going. Bill always needed to know what was going on, but he would have to wait until tomorrow. He wouldn't let Bill see that he was hurt though; he would cover it up behind a wall of jokes and sarcasm.

"Hello?"

"Are you in town Tom? I could use some company." the seductive voice on the other line answered.

It was Bridgett. The copper haired brunette that he met last year while on tour, the sex was good, but nothing special.

"Yeah, I'm at the Waterway Hotel, go to the front desk, tell them who you are and they will let you up to see me."

"See you then Tom."

He put the phone back down on the kitchen counter and sighed. He felt lonely… empty. He didn't want Bridgett, it was Emma he wanted, but he needed to fill the void somehow. Bridgett would be a good distraction for the moment, and hopefully take his mind off of **her**.

* * *

Emilene reached up and hit the emergency elevator button, it stirred underneath her and sat still. The doors in front of her opened, revealing a wide-eyed Bill.

Bill rushed to her side pulling her into him. "Why are you crying Emma?"

She rubbed her eyes to try to hide the fact she was crying; she looked up from Bill's chest to see his sincere eyes staring back at her. His features were similar to Tom's but more delicate.

"It's nothing, just something silly."

Bill sighed and pulled her up from the elevator floor. "You are coming back with me, I was going to get something to eat, but I can order food in."

Emilene let Bill drag her to his room. It was laid out like Tom's but with black furniture. She sat down on the corner of the couch and pulled her legs into her chest. She listened to Bill softly speak on the phone, when he was done he made his way next to her.

She felt at ease with Bill, after an hour of telling what transpired with Tom, she felt better. Bill didn't leave when she cried, he didn't laugh when she told him her feelings, despite saying that she felt it was just unusual to feel something for someone so soon. Bill listened, that is what Emilene needed, someone to just listen. Then when room service came and they both ate their ice cream sundaes – Bill said that sugar healed a sad soul, -- when Emilene told all about her family.

Bill sat there absorbing everything she was telling him. Even though he really didn't know her well, he felt easy around her; he could tell that she was a very kind person. Usually when he saw a girl cry over Tom it was because he kicked her out of his room after sex. But this was different, she was crying over her feelings for him, for wanting something more but being afraid to go after it.

He listened as she told him more about her life as a child, how her mother was diagnosed with cervical cancer. How months were spent at her mother's bedside because her parents could not afford to take her mother to get treated. Every night she would sit next to her mother's bed like it was her last day, every day she would go through the motions of school and come home back to her post. It was two weeks after her seventh birthday when she came home to find the bed empty and her father crying. Emma didn't have to say more, Bill knew by the look on her face that her mother passed while she was at school. He put her arms around her and she continued about her father, how he fell into a depression and began drinking heavily, and that one-day he disappeared. Emma was only seven and her father was gone, later to find out that he drove his car off Orange Mountain in New Jersey. Her aunt and uncle took her in, only to drop her off at her friend Michelle's house when she was eight and never came back. Emma's tears stopped at this point in her history, Bill could see anger in her eyes. He wanted to take the pain from her, but she told him how Michelle's mom was like her own mother. They would bake, do crafts, and go to movies and shopping.

Bill pulled her into a tight hug, hushing her as loud sobs escaped her lips. He felt that had to protect her anyway he could.

In between her sobs Emilene pulled away from Bill's hug.

"Thank you for listening, I… I never told anyone about that. Thank you."

She looked into Bill's eyes; she saw such kindness in them, unlike the loneliness in Tom's.

"Please don't tell Tom, I will tell him when I am ready too."

Bill nodded, but also felt sad for her as they were leaving for several months to start touring. He got up from the couch and grabbed a pen and a pad of paper from the desk in his bedroom. He sat back down next to Emilene.

"Emma, if you ever need to talk or just have someone listen, please call me." Bill wrote down his cell phone number and his e-mail address.

Emilene took the piece of paper from Bill's hand and put it in her pocket. She smiled as she thanked Bill.

She excused herself and made her way to the door, Bill followed her and gave her a reassuring hug. "Emma, don't worry, I see the way Tom looks at you."

She smiled and made her way back to the elevator, through the hotel lobby and out into the street. The cool rain that started felt good against her skin as it washed away all her worries. After a few moments of standing out in the rain, she made her way back into the hotel, got the elevator key from Elliot and back up to the his hotel room.


	9. Chapter 9

Emilene stopped when she saw the pretty copper haired brunette come out of Tom's room. The girl had a huge smirk across her heavily made up face; her eyes didn't leave the girl as she came closer. The brunette pushed the button on the elevator and turned to Emilene.

"Is it still raining outside? I knew I should have brought a coat or something." The girl snidely remarked, eyeing Emilene up and down. "You better change out of _**those**_ clothes, before you get sick. We wouldn't want that."

That pissed Emilene off, she eyed the girl down and scoffed at her. "Perhaps you should have **worn something**, before coming outside."

She heard the brunette mutter something nasty under her breath as she entered the elevator.

Emilene stood in front of Tom's door, this time she didn't know whether to pound the door down and scream at him, or to knock and ask what his problem was. She didn't care; she started to pound on his door. A few seconds went by and he didn't answer, so she pounded again. This time a door did open, behind her stood Bill looking half asleep.

"Emma? Emma! You are soaked! Please come in and let me get you some towels so you can dry yourself!" Bill went to her and tried to turn her around.

"No." she replied coldly.

"What? But you will get sick!"

She turned to face Bill and he saw anger covered her face. "Emma what is wrong?"

"What is wrong? What is WRONG?! Your DAMN brother just had some… some brunette in his room. He couldn't even wait until I was gone to have her come over!"

She was screaming now, her anguish could be heard through her sobs. Bill pulled her into a tight hug; inside he was angry with Tom. Angry because a nice girl came along and Tom found a way to screw it up. Bill knew that Tom would not know what he lost, Bill was jealous. Not of Tom, but that someone like Emma would open herself up, just to be hurt. After what she went through as a child, she didn't deserve it. Bill had some choice words for Tom, but for now they would have to wait until the morning.

A soft sound of a door unlocking was heard behind the two, and Tom stood in his doorway.

"What is going on Bill?" Tom looked at his brother while rubbing his eyes.

Bill spun around with Emilene sobbing in his arms. "Care to explain why you had some brunette walk out of your room just now?"

Tom's hand dropped from his eye. _She saw her leave?_ He didn't even know how to begin.

"Well while you sit there and come up with an excuse, Emma happened to see her leave your room. You are ridiculous Tom, do you know that?"

Tom's hands balled into fists. Bill was right; he was not only ridiculous, but also pathetic. There wasn't anything he could say the make things right. "I… I am sorry. She called and…"

"Cut the crap Tom, its not me you need to apologize too." The twins' eyes both lowered to Emilene.

She pushed herself away from Bill and looked straight at Tom. "I don't want you to ever contact me again. You disgust me."

She turned and made her way back to the elevator, ignoring Tom's pleas for her to come back. She ignored the stares in the hotel lobby as she walked by, she knew she looked a mess, her hair wet and matted against her face, her clothes soaking wet against her skin and her make up running down her face. She walked back out into the rain and made the six-block walk home.

Bill couldn't look at his twin, he was so angry at him and how he treated women. But this time it really struck a nerve, Emma was someone special and Tom didn't deserve her.

"Bill, I didn't… I mean…"

Bill raised up his hand. "Save it Tom, make sure you are up and ready for the drive to the airport. We have to be there by noon."

Bill turned on his heel and walked back into is room, slamming the door behind him as he entered. He went back into his bedroom and got back under the warm covers. He reached over to the bedside table and grabbed his cell phone.

_I don't want our friendship to go sour because of this. If you ever want to talk you know how to reach me. – Bill_

Tom couldn't believe that Emma came back and worse of all, ran into Bridgett. He wanted to run after Emma and tell her that Bridgett didn't mean anything to him. That her skin wasn't soft like Emma's, how her hair didn't have the faint smell of coconut and that her kisses were not a sweet vanilla like hers. He wanted Emma back with him; he wanted to make it right. But now he realized the consequence of his actions, he couldn't sleep with this on his conscience. He knew he broke her fragile heart and it pained him. But could he really not go and continue to fulfill his sexual desires? He knew he had some serious contemplating to do and didn't know if he was up for the challenge.


	10. Chapter 10

Three months went by since the incident with Tom. She had moved on, she didn't think about as much these days, and she erased all memories of him from her life. It took some time, but she was slowly healing again. This is why she always had her guard up, her protective walls around her so no one could get in.

Michelle and Ian were there for her during the days after the incident. They sat there and listened to her fears, her angriness, her revenge, and then her calming period. She couldn't have asked for better friends and they really helped her get through. She surprised herself at how upset the situation made her, and she realized that Tom was the first person that she let in. He was the complete opposite of her, but yet she knew he was hurting inside too.

Bill kept in contact with her, they talked on the phone several times a week and would mail each other letters updating on their lives. A close friendship formed between the two, and he always knew the right things to say.

Several times Tom tried contacting her, trying to apologize and wanting to make things right. She never answered his phone calls; she threw away any flowers or letters he sent to her. After two weeks she told Bill that Tom needed to stop and that she was being truthful when she said she didn't want him in her life.

At times Bill would let Emilene know how upset Tom was. How he wasn't being his usual self, instead of always being loud and the jokester, now he was quiet and seemed to be just "there." Bill didn't like the tension he felt whenever he talked to one about the other, but he kept Tom updated on what she told him. Tom wanted to know, he wanted to hear if she was happy again.

But old habits do not die hard, and so enough Tom was back in his ways of sleeping with a different girl almost every night. Bill kept that information away from Emilene, he knew Tom was filling a void and knew that she didn't want to hear it.

* * *

But already three months after the incident on their last phone call, Emilene told Bill that she was coming to Europe for a few days for work. She would be helping Rico with photography at the upcoming Marc Jacobs show. Bill was ecstatic to have his new friend in town and to meet up with her at the show. It hurt him to lie and say Tom wasn't coming, when in fact he and Bill were one of the top guests at the event. Bill was even going to walk the runway! He didn't like to lie, but he knew it would be for the best.

Emilene was on her flight to Europe, she was excited and tired at the same time. The past several weeks have been hectic at work, Rico's main assistant quit and received a new job at Vogue as their new Fashion Editor. Rico trusted only Emilene and offered her his assistant's position. She thought about it for days, and after discussing the opportunity with her close friends and Bill, she determined that this would be a great boost to her career and get her out there. She wasn't aware of the long days and nights, she would go days on just having a few hours of sleep, and it was starting to show. But the thrill and excitement was enough to keep her going. Rico was someone wonderful to work for, his visions and creativity made her strive to work harder, and his inspirations at times we a bit far-fetched, but entertaining none-the-less.

Now, here she was starting a new chapter in her life. She was excited to be somewhere new, to meet new and interesting people, and to see Bill. They were both excited for her arrival and Bill commented on how he had a little list of things they were going to do while in town.

The plane started its descent and anticipation grew inside of her. She couldn't wait to explore Europe and what it had to offer. Rico and Emilene made their way off the plane, commenting on how long the ride was and how the both just wanted to sleep in a nice, comfortable bed. They spotted their driver after they grabbed their luggage and made their way to the hotel.

The Driskyll was a beautiful hotel; it was once a old castle from the late 1800's that was remodeled into the hotel. Gold, reds, browns and creams accented the hotel and brought out the beauty in it. Emilene was staying on the fourth floor in Room 581, just three doors down from Rico. She dropped her bags as soon as she entered her room and fell on her bed. She drifted away into a deep slumber.

_I am staying at the Driskyll in Room 581. I have tonight free, but will have to let you know the rest of my schedule tomorrow. – Em._

Bill was so excited to see his friend, he was going to wait to see her tomorrow but his excitement wouldn't keep him still.

"Someone found themselves a new burst of energy!" exclaimed Georg.

Gustav looked up from the magazine he was reading and nodded in agreement.

"Yes! Emma is in town and is just down the street from us! I am going over to see her right now."

"Didn't she just get in from her long flight?" Georg questioned while grabbing the magazine from Gustav's hands.

"Yes! I don't care, I have so much I want her to see and do in such little time!"

Tom looked up from tuning his guitar at Bill. He wished that he was going over to see her instead of Bill, that he would be the one showing her around town. But it wasn't going to happen.

Bill noticed Tom staring, like he was deep in though. _She is going to be pissed, but it must happen._

"Tom… do you want to come with me?"

Bills question snapped Tom out of his thoughts, he wanted to go, but he also knew that if he did, would she want to see him?

* * *

The knocking on the door and murmured voices woke Emilene from her sleep. She glanced at the clock and it was only five, who would be at her door? She lazily got up and replied that she was coming. The plane ride really left her tired and groggy.

She saw Bill's smile through the peephole and perked up.

_Bill was going to take me around tonight!_

She excitedly opened the door to find Bill and Tom standing there. She thought she would have been upset to see Tom, but she blamed it on her lack of sleep for not slapping him.

"Bill! It is great to see you again!" Emilene exclaimed while hugging Bill.

"Yes and you too Emma! I am so excited to give you a Bill Kaulitz tour of the city!"

Tom was staring at the carpet, and in a low tone said how it was nice for him to see her also.

She glanced over to Bill. "Would you excuse us please? You can help yourself to whatever snacks and drinks are in the mini fridge."

Bill nodded and entered her hotel room; he made his way to her mini fridge and helped himself to a Coke and some chocolate chip cookies.

Emilene shut the hotel room door and now it was just she and Tom standing in the hallway staring at each other. She didn't know what to say to break the ice.

"Why did you have to do that Tom? I don't think you understand how much that hurt me."

Tom looked up at Emilene and saw tears beginning to well up in her eyes. He hated himself for what transpired and wanted to make it right.

"I know I can apologize repeatedly and it won't justify what I did. I was weak, when you left there was a desire in me that I haven't experience before. I mistook it for something else, and Bridgett happened to call right after you left. I wasn't thinking when I agreed for her to come over, and when I saw you in the hallway all broken looking I realized that I made a huge mistake. I am sincerely sorry Emma, I didn't and never wanted to hurt you."

_I am not going to let myself cry, I will not give him the satisfaction of seeing me like that again._

But as her words ran through her head, warm streams of tears were running down her face. She saw Tom hesitate, and then move towards her. He brushed his hand against her cheek, wiping the tears away. He cupped her face in his heads and told her how sorry he was.

She didn't want this; she didn't want to be close to him again, to smell him, to feel his soft hands against her face. But when he pulled her into him she became weak and tightened her grip around him. She nuzzled her face into his chest, mumbling to him. She missed him, she wanted him and she needed him. But she wouldn't let herself become defeated so easily, she pulled away from his gentle embrace, wiped the tears from her eyes and entered her room with Tom following.

"Everything ok?" Bill asked. He was a site to see, sitting Indian style on her bed watching a talk show with cookie crumbs around him. Emilene couldn't help herself and started to laugh.

"What is with her?"

Tom just shook his head at Bill and looked back over to her. For a minute he thought he heard Emma say that she loved him when they were in the hallway. But he dismissed the thought to his wishful thinking.

Between her laughs she explained what was funny. Bill just look around like nothing was unusual, which is true. Bill loves his junk food and will leave a mess when he has been craving sweets for a while.

"Ok Bill, I think I am ready to leave." She turned her attention to Tom; "I would like you to come also Tom, not because I **want** you too, but that I am being polite for Bill's sake."

Tom shrugged his shoulders and put his hands in his pockets. Bill got up and stood next to him, showing how sorry he was in his eyes. Tom nodded and the twins followed Emilene out to the city.

* * *

After several hours of touring Art Museums, historic buildings and ruins, and the occasional shopping, the three of them became hungry. The decided to stop into a little art bistro they passed while looking at the Art Museums. When they entered the bistro, Bill excused himself, as he was not feeling well, leaving it to just be Tom and Emilene.

_I don't want to be mad at him anymore, I want to make things right. Turn it back to when I got nervous and choked up around him._

But whom was she kidding? She still got wobble kneed, sweaty palms and stuttered when Tom was near. After they ordered their food at the counter, they sat down in a corner of the bistro. The tension was thick between them.

_I can't stand this!_

"Tom?" Emilene slyly eyed him and became nervous. How was she going to make things right? She didn't want to continue this charade.

"Yes Emma?" Tom leaned in over the table to her. His eyes filled with sadness and contemplation.

"I miss you."

That was all he needed to hear, and before he knew it they were embracing and telling each other how sorry they were. He felt the flutters in his stomach again; he tried to ignore them, as he never felt uneasy around a woman before. But Emma was different to him, she wasn't like everyone else. He wanted to be a better man because of her, he wanted to show her that he could do right and decided that he would never but her through agony like that again.

When their food arrived, they took their time eating, instead focusing on catching up with what they missed in each other's lives during their time apart. Midway in conversation, Tom reached down into a bag and pulled out a small, purple, velvet box, and placed it in front of Emilene.

She eyed it curiously before picking it up with her hands. "Is this for me?"

"Yes" and with a smile Tom urged her to open it.

Emilene held her breath, she didn't know what to expect in such a lovely box. She unwrapped the white, silk ribbon that was tied around it. Slowly, she pulled open the lid and inside was a small diamond pendant of a key on a white gold chain. She pulled out the necklace and tears began to stream down her face.

"Tom, its absolutely beautiful!"

Tom sat up from his chair and moved behind Emilene. He pushed aside her hair and clasped the necklace around her neck. He leaned down next to her left ear and whispered into it.

"You hold the key to my heart."


	11. Chapter 11

**_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, after working in front of a computer for 10 hours a day at work, during the weekends I tend to not want anything to do with a computer. :)_**

*******************

The sunlight coming through her window stirred her awake. She rolled over and looked at her clock, the time being just a little past six in the morning. She had a few more hours until she had to meet Rico.

_Did yesterday happen? It felt to surreal._

Her hand grabbed around her neck and the diamond key pendant was around her neck. It wasn't a dream at all, she had allowed Tom back in. She could still feel his arms wrapped around her as they embraced when he walked her to her hotel room. She could still taste him on her lips and feel his heartbeat against her chest; he had taken down his walls and allowed her in.

She slid out of bed and made her way into the bathroom. Her face surprised her in the mirror; it was calm looking and had a glow to it. Was she in love? It couldn't be, for all she knew Tom could still be in his old habits and putting on a show. But she didn't believe it; she wouldn't allow herself to think badly of him again.

The hot water of the shower felt soothing against her skin, her muscles were tense and soar from the long ten-hour flight the day before. She stepped out of the shower and walked over to her suitcase, she completely forgot to put her clothes away. Since today was going to be mostly setting up the lights and camera equipment, plus meeting with some of the models, Emilene settled on her destroyed, faded denim jeans, long purple tank top with a white thrift store baseball tee over. She dug through her suitcase until she found her black Converse shoes and a few necklaces. She pulled the towel of her head, rubbed some mouse through her hair and let it air dry to its natural curls.

She glanced up to the clock next to her bed and it was now seven. She still had four more hours to kill, so she decided to get some breakfast. She grabbed her purse and phone and opened up her door to find Tom standing there.

"Why… good morning Tom."

Tom sheepishly looked at Emilene and smiled. "Morning Emma. I couldn't sleep and wanted to take you out for breakfast."

Emilene shut her door behind her. "I would love that."

They made their way down to the hotel lobby. A flash caught her eye; she turned to see several photographers taking their photo.

"Tom?!" she didn't want the unnecessary attention, but it was going to catch up with her sooner or later.

Tom grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. "Just stay by me and keep your head down. Ignore their questions and anything else they will throw your way."

She nodded in agreement and moved closer into him. She positioned herself behind him and kept her face down. When they exited the hotel it was like all hell broke lose.

_"Tom! Tom! Who is this woman?"_

_"Tom is this one of your one-night-stands gone good?"_

_"What is your name girl?"_

_"How long have you two been together? Tom have you been hiding her all these years?"_

_"She doesn't look like your normal type, why her Tom?"_

Tom squeezed her hand and Emilene looked up to see his bodyguard standing in front of them next to a black SUV. Tom let go of her hand and ran around to the opposite side of the SUV, while his bodyguard helped Emilene into the SUV. When the doors shut the photographers were still snapping photos and yelling questions.

"Unbelievable." She mumbled under her breath.

Tom looked over to her and pulled her next to him. "It is annoying the say the least, but it's the price of fame. I have become so use to just putting my head down and go on my way."

"I don't know if I could handle it." She whispered.

He put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder. "I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

She let out a small laugh "At least there were no fans out there, I have seen how the fan girls go crazy for you guys! They would probably pile drive me if I was seen with you."

Tom laughed at the thought of the fan girls go ballistic if he was seen out with Emilene. They were going to be spotted out and about; he knew that they might end up in a magazine with the story completely twisted.

After twenty minutes of driving, the SUV stopped in front of another hotel. Emilene looked questionably at their location and wondered why they were here.

"Tom, why did we stop here?"

"This is where the band and I are staying. I thought this might be a bit more private for us."

She followed his out of the SUV and into the hotel, this time she didn't have to hide her face since there were no photographers lurking outside the hotel. They made their way to the elevator and up to floor seven. They stepped out to a brightly lit hallway and walked to the end of the corridor. There were just two doors at this end, which she assumed was the band's rooms.

"The guys are here also, I thought it would be nice for you to get to know everyone better and for them to get to know you."

Emilene smiled and touched the pendant he gave her the night before, as a sense of reassurance.

* * *

Breakfast went really good, apart from Bill; Georg and Gustav were both very friendly and funny. You could tell that they were a bit shy, but eventually warmed up to Emilene as she poked fun at Tom occasionally. Bill was excited to see her again and talked about how they needed to go shopping again, this time without Tom. Her highlight was everyone's trouble saying her name, Georg asked her if she was named after a type of meat they never heard before, and Gustav would just laugh and add a joke in here and there. Finally she told them all too just call her Emma, as Tom and Bill have been doing.

Georg was the first to ask about the pendant hanging from her neck.

"I like your charm, was it a gift?"

Emilene looked down at the charm mixed in with her other necklaces, she felt her cheeks grow hot and knew she was blushing.

"Yes."

Georg smiled, seeming satisfied by her answer. But not Bill, Bill had to know everything.

"Well… who gave it to you?" Bill shot a look over to Tom, the twins sat there staring at each other as having their own conversation.

"Well… I… I got it…"

"I gave it to her." Tom exclaimed.

"I knew it!" Bill shrieked. A huge smile spread across his face and he got up from where he was sitting and made his way over to Tom. "Tom for once listened to his little brother! Emma it is beautiful on you."

Emilene nodded with a smile, knowing that her face was a deep crimson. Georg and Gustav both laughed in agreement with Bill and flashed reassuring smiles her way.

Gustav leaned over whispering to Emilene. "If it makes you feel better, Georg buys so many trinkets for his girlfriend, we are starting to wonder if they are married and he hasn't told us!"

"I heard that!" Georg shouted.

"I'm just saying Georg."

"Yeah! Don't worry Gustav, he wouldn't want to ruin what he has going on with you. Your still his number one!" Tom joked.

Both Georg and Gustav started laughing with Bill bouncing around the room talking a mile a minute about nothing. Emilene stared at them with a bewilder look and started to laugh also, she felt more at ease now. The guy's carefree ways really made her feel comfortable.

"Welcome to the chaos that is Tokio Hotel!" Tom joked as he winked across the room to her.


	12. Chapter 12

The first day rehearsing was a mess, clothing, shoes, accessories and what not were scattered all backstage. Emilene was running back and forth not only acting as the photographers assistant, but also helping with fashion, coordinating the models for hairstyles and makeup. By eight in the evening, she was spent, not all of the Coke she was drinking was keeping her awake.

The experience was exhilarating though; she met with amazing designers and received very good life experience from other top photographers. Although the day was hectic, it was very satisfying also.

She ran to the bathroom and sat in an empty stall to just have five minutes to herself. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw several text messages. A few were from Bill congratulating her on her promotion and giving her luck. Michelle and Ian both sent their love in a message from Michelle's phone. Lastly was a message from Tom. There was a photo of two small children at a park; there was a little boy handing a little girl a lollipop. Below the photo, Tom typed in a smiley face.

_I was use to pushing boys in the mud or receiving bugs, never a lollipop. :) – Emma_

Ignoring the throbbing of her feet and the groans of her empty stomach, she left the bathroom and made her way back the chaos. Now, they were going to run through the show and Rico was going down the list of attendees and who Emilene must take photos of and who she must not. He also stated that she must not talk to the guest unless they talk to her, since they are there to view the clothing and not photographers. Together, they ran through a mock demonstration and practice using their ear buds. It was overwhelming and Emilene was beginning to doubt herself and her abilities. But the show was tomorrow and she knew that she must stay positive.

Emilene started to pack up by one in the morning. Thirteen hours she spent rehearsing and helping out when needed. By now she was positive half of the backstage could hear her stomach growling.

_I could go for a huge, juicy burger with a big pile of greasy fries._

She wiped her mouth believing that she was starting to drool as she was walking outside. The air was different in Europe; it was crisp and had an earthy smell to it. She took in several deep breaths before she made her way back to her hotel. The nightlife was amazing, strings of lights hung from tree to tree on the sidewalks, soft music poured out of restaurants' and little shops. Laughter from all around soothed her soul and she realized that she missed him. It hasn't even been a day and she missed his touch, smell and the deep sound of his voice.

The aroma of fried food shook her from her thoughts. She turned and entered the small pub in front of her. It was dark inside, but she welcomed it, she could relax and not have to worry about making a mess when she ate her food. She made her way to a corner booth by the front window. A young girl of about sixteen came and took her order, within a few minutes the delicious feast was in front of her.

Emilene wasted no time, in five minutes she had finished off her pub burger, large order of fries and two glasses of soda. The waitress looked at her funny when she cleaned up her plates, and Emilene couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

Her walk was only a few blocks from the venue, by now her whole body was throbbing. Once in her room, she made her way over to her bed and fell onto the soft down comforter. It felt like she was floating on air, her body began to tingle. She grabbed her purse from the floor and grabbed a couple aspirins. She was use to sitting in a chair all day, not being on her feet moving around, having people requesting her help from all angles. In a way she was happy that it was going to be over in a day, but she was also sad because she would be leaving for the States two days after the event.

_Could I be happy in a relationship with someone like Tom? Would I be able to withstand months apart? They say being apart makes the heart grow fonder, but couldn't it also break us apart? Who's to say that someone else couldn't walk into the picture for either of us? Can I believe that Tom won't hook up with groupies, or remain faithful in that matter? Why am I even stressing over this, its not like it's serious. Now I am just fooling myself, I can't get him out of my head, when I am with him I turn into putty. _

Emilene tugged at the charm around her neck.

_I believe he is serious and wants to see something come out of this. But I also believe there is something holding him back… that look of loneliness in his eye is always there. _

"I am just not good at this type of thing!" she screamed.

Hastily, Emilene grabbed a pillow and pulled it over her face. She let out a much need muffled scream.

* * *

"So why didn't you tell me that you were going to buy her something?" Bill asked.

Tom let out a sigh, he didn't like keeping things from Bill and seeing the hurt in his eyes made him feel worse.

"I got it when the three of us were out the day before. It was when the two of you went crazy over some pair of black boots…"

"Oh yeah! Those boots looked fantastic on me, but Emma looked better with them on. They really complement her body shape."

"Bill you have a million pairs of boots, you don't need anymore! Now back to what I was saying…"

"Never! Different styles complement different outfits and I have to be able to mix and match!" Bill replied dryly while shaking his head.

"While you two crazy people were obsessing about shoes, I saw a little jewelry store. I was thinking of getting a new watch, but the necklace caught my eye."

Mhhmmm… and because you, Tom Kaulitz are now in love. Such a shame, I thought I would be the first to find love."

"Yeah. I just never felt anything like this before Bill. I mean I had… butterflies! Or at least I think so, I could have had an upset stomach from something Georg tried to cook up."

Bill could sense the longing from Tom for Emma. He saw the way Tom looked at her, the sparkle whenever her name was spoken. Tom had become completely smitten for the girl, and for as reserved he was on the subject of love, this was a whole new side of him that Bill has not yet seen.

"Do you think you can give up your image as 'Tom the Womanizer'?"

Tom didn't really think things through since the incident with Bridgett. Emma would be leaving to go back to the States any day, while the band would be touring for the next several months. Could he really resist temptation? The fan girls really did know how to make him forget reality. It was a decision he had to make, and make soon.

"Only time can tell Bill."

Across from where they were sitting were two small children; a little boy and a little girl. The girl was playing in the sandbox when the little boy approached, handing the little girl a lollipop.

Before he knew it, Tom had taken a photo of the two children and sent it in a text message to Emma. He put his phone back in his pocket and leaned his back on the bench he was sitting on. Slowly he began to inhale the air and play with his lip ring, he had some tough decisions to make. Was falling for someone this hard and complicated?

"Yes" Bill said, still watching the little kids a few yards in front of them.

"I wish it wasn't Bill."

"Not everything is easy in life Tom, eventually you were going to learn that. I am here if you need to talk or someone to listen Tom."

The twins both stood up from the park bench and made their way back to the hotel. It was nice to get out and enjoy the world, so often they were cooped up in hotels or in the studio. It was nice to feel normal, even for a few moments.

As they were walking Tom pulled out his phone, this time he went through his address book and started to delete the numbers of the girls he saved. Afterwards it felt like a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders. His phone buzzed, and he saw Emma's response to his text.

_I never knew that I could become attached to someone like this. When I can't see her its as if my days just drag by, the sound of her voice warms my soul and the images of her in my head keep a smile on my face._

"I love her Bill."

Bill stopped walking and kept his back at Tom. He knew Tom was infatuated with Emma, but in love? Love was not something to joke about or toy with; it's not a word that can easily be taken back. He closed his eyes and let out a small groan, he fought back tears that were beginning to overcome his eyes. Several more small breathes through his nose and he was able to compose himself. When he opened his eyes back up Tom was standing directly in front of him with a worried look on his face.

"I'm sorry Bill…"

"No, I'm sorry Tom, I am caught up with finding love that I should be happy for you Tom and I am." Bill replied with a smile.

"Now I need to teach you on how to treat a woman properly Tom. You must heed my advice and take good care of her!"


	13. Chapter 13

Anticipation was nagging at her, and she couldn't stop moving, whether it was tapping her foot, playing with the camera around her neck, popping her chewing gum or just constantly moving around. Soon, Rico had to intervene and calm her nerves.

"Everything will go smoothly Emilene. Please, you are making the models and myself nervous! Why don't you go take a breather and I will call you over the ear buds when we are ready to start."

Emilene nodded and made her way out the back door. She could see the rows of limos lining the streets as guests began to arrive for the show. She felt the anticipation turn into nausea, looking around outside she spotted several rusty trashcans. Emilene ran behind them and let her body take over. Never had her nerves overcome her as such, but after a few seconds she felt better and walked back to the backstage.

She grabbed a donut and a can of Coke, while eating the chaos was unfolding in front of her. The pale faced, overly thin models were being rushed to makeup, and colors of metallic maroon, black, silver, gold, white and blue donned the delicate faces. Some of the models had small crystals glued to their faces, to accentuate the bold makeup designs. Then there was the hair! Braids twirled into poufy balls, feathers, sticks, and whatever else the hairstylists could get their hands on were woven into the female model's hair. The men had it easy, their hair was just slicked back and looked extremely greasy and wet. But it was the wardrobe that was causing such a riot. Marc really outdid himself with this line, it was something almost futuristic, black leather, white leather, metal studs, black feathers and hints of silver silk and cotton adorned his creations.

Her head began to swirl from the sugar and Emilene was ready to tackle the day. Suddenly, a loud screeching noise made her grab her head and yank out the ear bud in her ear. Once the screeching stopped she placed it back in her ear.

"…Damn it. These things are useless! Emilene, come up to the walkway now, guests are starting to enter and I need you to start walking around the venue taking shots of everyone."

_On my way Rico._ She hastily finished up the last of her soda and tossed the can into a blue recycle bin near her feet.

Models were giving her looks, perhaps because they haven't had a decent meal in years. Or maybe they were counting the calories Emilene just consumed and the thought of all the sugary sweetness going straight to their butts was just sickening.

That's why I do what I do, and you prance around in clothing no one buys. Plus I could snap you in half with my two fingers.

Being around all the arrogance was starting to wear on her. She chuckled as she kept the insults coming in her mind, knowing that the models were doing the same to her.

She pulled aside the white silk curtain and gasped. _Some of the guests?_

Rico should have been more specific and said that at least a few hundred of them showed up. She started to walk around in the mass of silk, chiffon, leather, diamonds, cheap perfume, fake casualties and whispered rumors.

Actors, actresses, models, singers, bands and trophy wives swirled around her. It was easy blending in to the background, snapping photos of couples talking, groups playfully telling jokes, and the dark corner were others were being scandalous. It was exhilarating and became a high for Emilene.

That's when the jet black Mohawk stopped her. She was allured by it and made her way over to the head that occupied it.

"Bill?"

"Emma!" Bill excitedly said while pulling her into a hug.

"I didn't know you were going to be here! This is exciting, but also now a bit nerve racking. Is Tom here also?"

Bill nodded and tilted his head. "Why is my being here going to make you nervous?"

Emilene tried to quiet her giggling. "It's when you make faces and give me looks like that! I will be distracted and not be able to do my job."

Bill worked himself into several poses, with Emilene taking his photos. Bill looked beautiful no matter how he was dressed. With his Mohawk, tight black jeans, black shoes, black t-shirt with a black jacket over it, Bill just looked stunning.

"Now my dear, I must go and find Tom so we can take out seats. Please come by, I know Tom would enjoy to see you for a moment." Bill gave Emilene a hug and made his way through the crowd.

* * *

After about an hour of working her way around the venue, Emilene decided to look for Bill and Tom. She started scanning the crowd when she spotted Bill's Mohawk in the front row. It took her a while to make her way over to the twins, when she got to them she sat down on the floor trying to catch her breath.

"Oh Emma! Take some of me looking like this!" Bill lowered his eyebrows, and opened his mouth slightly into a seductive pose. Tom just sat there with his eyebrows slightly raised. Emilene picked up her camera and snapped several photos of the twins with Bill shifting in a different pose each time.

"Ok Bill, I think that I have at least a few hundred photos of you now."

"Not enough! You may have a hundred, but I may look horrid and awful in most of them!"

"Bill just wishes that he could be so good looking like myself!" Tom joked.

Emilene looked over and saw the huge grin Tom had plastered on his face. He got up and gave her a big hug and a small kiss on her cheek.

As they were pulling away he whispered into her ear, "You look beautiful."

His words made Emilene blush. She looked down at her outfit and didn't think it was anything special. Compared to what everyone else was wearing, it looked like rags. Her feet were starting to throb in her three inch black heels, but the black leggings she wore, left her feeling cool, as they weren't thick like her jeans. She had a sheer, white one-shoulder tunic over a blush silver camisole underneath. Tom's gift adorned her neck, and her hair was down and curly, but after an hour in the venue, she pulled it into a messy ponytail.

"You should speak for yourself Tom." She winked back at him. Tom, also like Bill, was dressed in all black; even the scarf around his neck was black with a few hints of silver in it.

The dj switched the music and that was Emilene's cue to get to her post on the side of the runway. "I hate to cut this short, but I need to get to my post on the side of the runway."

Tom nodded and gave Emilene another hug, this time having it last a little longer. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent, the warmth of his body sent shivers down her spine.

"Emilene! Emilene where are you? You need to get to the runway NOW!" Rico screamed in her ear.

Sighing she waved to Tom. "Duty calls." She pushed through the crowd until she got to her spot on the runway's side.

_At least I can somewhat squat and sit for the time being._

_

* * *

_

The show was amazing! Although Emilene would never wear any of the clothing modeled, it was fascinating seeing all of it pulled together. She knew the shots she got were going to be amazing and please Rico. The music changed again and the venue went dark, smoke began pouring onto the stage and around the runway. She didn't remember this in rehearsals, it could have happened after she left but Rico would have had her stay. Small white lights began to light up the room and the back of the runway. A figure stepped out onto the stage, for a minute it looked like a monster somewhat. The figure was tall, and had feathers on their shoulder. More lights began coming on to reveal that it was Bill!

Emilene grabbed her camera and began taking shots like rapid fire. She was smiling and cheering on Bill as he made his debut on the runway. He looked like he truly belonged on it, and was stunning. Modeling was Bill's second coming.

After Bill's debut, he walked the runway one more time with Marc and the show was over. Emilene stayed put as the guests made their way out of the venue. She kicked off her heels and rubbed her tried, sore feet.

"You shouldn't be the one doing that." The sultry voice startled her.

Tom walked over in front of Emilene and sat on the floor. "Let me."

He gently grabbed her right foot and began to rub it. Emilene started to giggle and almost kicked Tom in the face. "I'm sorry! My feet are ticklish."

"It's ok." Tom smiled and resumed with the left foot.

"Bill was phenomenal. I had no idea he was going to walk!"

"He met with Marc several times in private to go over everything."

That was why he wasn't at rehearsals; it was a nice surprise for everyone in attendance; not to mention that Bill is a natural.

The ear bud started buzzing in her ear. "Emilene, come backstage so we can wrap up."

"Sorry Tom, I have to go backstage to wrap up a few things."

She put her heels back on and Tom helped her up. He grabbed the camera from around her neck and carried with him as they made their way backstage. Unlike earlier, half of the stations were already packed up and gone. Makeup and hair stylists left for the after parties or to go home, a few fashion coordinators strayed behind zipping up the clothing in their protective garment bags. Emilene found Rico near the back door talking to the other photographers.

"There you are Em! So how did your first show go?"

Pulling out her ear bud, she took the camera from Tom's hand and gave it to Rico. She watched his face as he glanced over her shots, he had a stone face and Emilene didn't know whether that was good or not. Years she has known Rico and usually his face gives away what he is thinking, but today it was emotionless. Perhaps the lack of sleep, and added amounts of stress were taking its toll on him. When he was done he handed the camera back to Emilene.

"I have flagged the ones that are acceptable, you did a wonderful job Em. There are more than enough quality photos, on Monday we are going to discuss what this means for you." Rico glanced over Tom's way. "Perhaps you go and enjoy your last two days here in Europe, I will see you at the airport on Sunday. Again, great job."

Rico walked away with the other photographers who were sulking over their cameras. Emilene assumed it was because they probably didn't fair as well as her.

Tom slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. "I could think of a few things we could do for your last two days here."

A sly smile spread across both of their faces. "Well let's start with some food, if I don't eat anything pretty soon I will look like one of the models."

They both chuckled and made their way out into the warm night.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Author's Note: Sorry for the extremely short chapter, I changed this chapter numerous times and I am still not that happy with it. But I have moved on to the latter parts and may come back to revise this one at another time._**

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* * *

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Beep… beep… beep…

Under the mound of white hotel sheets a muffled groan escaped followed by some curses. Emilene's small hand violently felt around the bedside table trying to shut the alarm off.

_Beep… beep… beep…_

"Damn it! I heard you!" she mumbled as she threw off the sheets and turned off the alarm.

Today was the day she would be leaving Tom and going back to the States. Leaving Tom. She didn't like the sound of it, she thought of it more as saying, "See you later", but who knew when they would be able to see each other again?

A movement under the sheets dragged her away from her thoughts. She laid her head back down on her pillow and watched as the body rolled and faced her. His deep chocolate brown eyes were hopefully seeing dreams of wonder and fantasy. His lips were parted slightly and soft snores escaped them. His midnight black hair, woven into tight braids stayed in place under his black rag.

Her eyes trailed down to his chest and traced the contours of his defined muscles. She smiled again as she kept her gaze moving downwards, the lower half of his body hidden under the white sheets.

_Last night, after dinner with the guys Tom came back with Emilene to help her pack. She was finding it difficult to leave Tom behind and collapsed on the floor once they entered her room._

_Tom rushed to her side and placed his arms around her asking if she was ok. When she turned to face him he saw a tear stained face looking back at him. He didn't like seeing her this way; he didn't like knowing that she was fragile and upset. He took in several deep breaths and prepared himself for what he was going to say, the words starting to escape his lips when he felt her lips meet with his. He felt desire and sadness hidden in her kiss. When she pulled him closer the wanting was stronger and he knew he wouldn't be able to fight it._

Her smile slowly began to fade, she wouldn't be able to feel his soft touch, or how he held her close to him as there bodies melted together not being able to tell where one began and the other ended. Or how he pushed her hair away from her eyes when he told her he _loved her_ in between their soft cries of pleasure. Their first night together was blissful but also left her wanting more. He told her that he loved her, but did she feel the same? Was she willing and able to open herself completely to him?

She sat up in bed and threw on Tom's white t-shirt that was lying off the bed. The scent of his cologne still lingered on the oversized shirt; Emilene placed her hands behind her lower back and stretched. As she was about to get up, Tom's hand grabbed her wrist.

"Please…"

She turned around to see Tom's sleepy face looking back at her. She pulled the sheets aside and climbed back next to him.


	15. Chapter 15

"I told myself that I wouldn't cry, but here I am blubbering like a baby."

She buried her face deeper into his chest, trying to quiet her sobs. She tightened her grip around his waist and let herself go. She couldn't hold back the stream of tears that overtook her face; she couldn't keep the sobs quiet any longer. She couldn't speak, nor did she dare try to say anything.

He didn't want this moment to come either, her body trembling with every sniffle and cry. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling the scent of her strawberry shampoo and perfume. He pulled her closer when he felt her arms tighten around his waist. He just wanted to take her and go far away from this place, but he realized that he couldn't always have things his way.

"_Now boarding passengers for Flight 1733, non-stop to New York."_

"I can't do this, I can't leave you, I don't want to leave you. I-I-I… I love you Tom."

Tom lifted gently grabbed her face with his hands and stared into her eyes.

"What did you say?" he asked sheepishly.

"I love you Tom. I never felt this before, when I am near you I grow weak in the knees, my mind clouds up and I start stammering and stuttering. When I hear your voice, my stomach does flip-flops and I think that I am going to turn inside out. Your touch sends shivers throughout my body and I feel like I am going to burst. I can't think of being apart from you, nor do I want to be."

_I love you._ Three words never sounded so… wonderful to him before.

Without a hesitation, he pulled her in. Her lips tasted like cherries and her breathe had a hint of sweet mint. He let his fingers traced around her body as he pulled her closer into him, he didn't want to let her go. He didn't want her to be away from him, he just wanted her with him always. He felt something warm fall down his cheek and with his right hand he wiped it away. He wasn't going to let her see him upset; he had to be strong for her. He felt her break free, but he held her tighter. He was going to let her go on his own terms.

"I love you Emma, and I will wait for you." With that, he let her go.

She grabbed her bag and turned away quickly, not wanting him to see her red eyes. Once the attendant scanned her ticket, Emilene turned back around and blew a kiss to Tom. She smiled when he placed his hand over his heart, then she was gone.

* * *

Tom sat at the airport a few hours after Emilene's plan left. Everything felt surreal, how was it in such a short time she made such a significant impact on his life? But now he was in love with her, love was something he had no knowledge of. Did love hurt like this? Everything he knew about love was that it was happy, joyous, and magical and changed your life. He was feeling upset, lonely, heartbroken and angry. He should have asked her stay with him, he could take care of her. He should have suggested that she transfer to work for MTV's German or European station. All these What If's clouded his mind.

"You are not easy to find in such a big airport!"

Tom ignored Bill's remark.

"Tom?" Bill saw a look of twisted emotions stamped across his twin's face. "Tom what happened?"

Tom couldn't repeat it; it hurt so much to know that he wouldn't be able to see her smile again. Her laugh wouldn't sound the same over the phone; he would miss how she playfully pushed him when she told jokes, and the sweet taste of her flavored Chap Stick when they kissed.

"Come on Tom, we have to get back to the hotel and get ready to leave for tour tomorrow."

In his zombie state, Tom followed Bill through the airport, ignoring the squeals and cries of fan girls around him. He couldn't bother to stop to take a photo or sign autographs. He just wanted to get back to his bed and sleep the next several weeks away.

The car ride back to the hotel was silent, Bill wanted to comfort Tom but knew in his best interest to leave him alone. It hurt him to see his twin in pain. When they got to the hotel Bill tried to make conversation with Tom several times with no success. The elevator ride up to their floor felt long and Bill didn't like the different emotions he was feeling off of Tom. When the elevator doors opened Bill dragged Tom out of the elevator and into the hallway.

"Tomas! Please! I know it is upsetting, but you are worrying me." Bill pleaded.

"I just need some time to myself Bill."

Tom pushed Bill's hands off of his shoulders and slowly walked to his room. Once inside he pulled the curtains closed and turned off all the lights. He sat on the edge of his bed and kicked off his sneakers. He grabbed the oversize t-shirt that Emma put on in the morning and held it to his face. He could still smell traces of her on the garment and welcomed the tears that danced on his cheeks.


	16. Chapter 16

Everyday seemed to have lost its purpose, again she felt alone and abandoned when in fact it was her that abandoned him. She never unpacked her suitcase, her belongings still packed up for the fleeting chance that he would call and tell her to come back. Or was it because of the several times she went to the airport to fly back to him? She felt empty, phone calls were not the same, she wanted more than to just hear his voice. She wanted to feel his touch, smell his scent and engulf herself in him.

"It has been almost a month Emma, you really need to get out. All you do is work and go home and sulk. Ian and I are worried about you, you should come out with us to Nyne tonight."

***********

Emilene looked up from her computer to see the worried expression painted on Michelle's face. Michelle was right, she became a recluse and Tom even noticed in their last phone conversation.

"_Emma I know it is hard, believe me there are times that I just want to walk away from the tour and fly back to you. But I can't do that, I have commitments and we both need to enjoy the time apart, even though it is hard."_

"_But Tom it is difficult, so difficult. So many times I have packed up and gone to the airport only to be scared to come to you. It hurts so much."_

_Tom's sighing could be heard on the other line, Emilene wiped the tears out of her eyes and tried to compose herself. Tom didn't like hearing her cry, and but it seemed to be all that she was doing lately._

"_Emma, I love you and we will be done touring in another month. Just another month please."_

_She shook her head as if he was in the room with her, she could hear him fighting back his feelings and trying to be the strong one._

"_I'm sorry Tom, I love you too."_

***********

Sighing heavily she knew Michelle was right. Lately she didn't even recognize the face in the mirror. Who was the girl staring back with her sunken eyes, dark circles painted underneath, a frown that portrayed a sad story and the joy sucked out of her?

"You're right, I will meet you two there –"

"Be there at ten! Emma, I promise you won't regret it!" Michelle came to her side and pulled her into a tight hug.

* * *

Everyone was right, she needed to get out, to be free, to let herself **go**. The beat of the music resonated through her veins, her hips swaying with each beat, and she felt as if she was in her own world. Nothing could take her away from what she was feeling, it was a euphoric escape. Guys would come up and grind on her or try to mess with her groove; she would ignore them and continue on with her blissful state.

Michelle and Ian were happy with how she was acting tonight. To them, it was having the old Emilene back. To Ian there was something about Tom that rubbed him the wrong way. What was it about Tom that made her so depressed, so shut off from the world? Ian had no romantic inclinations with Emilene as he was happily involved with someone else. But in the years he knew Emilene, she never let someone get so close to her, to the point where she was fragile and could break.

"What are you thinking about?" Michelle nudged Ian softly.

"That I am happy we were able to convince her to come out." He pointed over to Emilene on the dance floor.

Large smile spread across Michelle's face. "I am happy to Ian, she needed to come back to reality."

Ian nodded and hung his shoulders. "I don't know about Tom, there is something about him that I don't trust Michelle."

Michelle knew this moment was coming. Ian was the protector of both girls; it was hard for him to trust the men the girls got involved with.

"He is a very good guy Ian, there isn't a mean bone in his body. If she is happy then you should be happy for her."

Michelle was right, as much as he didn't want to admit it; he knew that as long as Emilene was happy he should be too. It didn't mean that he didn't have to like Tom, but it also didn't mean that he couldn't support Emilene in her decision.

The beat began to slow down and change tempo. She licked her lips and noticed how parched her throat was. Across the way she spotted her two friends and made her way over to them. All the dancing began to take its toll on her, after a few sips from her glass of water she decided to call it night. It was fun to get out and she made note to get out more often.

* * *

The walk home was refreshing; the cold breeze brought back memories of Europe and sitting on her hotel porch with Tom. Once she arrived at her apartment, she decided to make herself a glass of vodka and cranberry juice. She grabbed her laptop and made herself comfortable on her couch. Within several minutes of flipping through the TV channels, she settled on the classic movie "Sabrina." Audrey Hepburn was one of her favorite actresses and she loved the story of the movie. She turned on her laptop and checked her emails; there she saw a message from Tom telling her to call him when she got home.

She contemplated for a minute before giving in and dialing his number. She hung up when it went to voicemail and sent him a text message instead. An hour later her phone buzzed letting her know that she received a text message. It was Tom giving her information to go on Skype.

She heard of Skype but never actually thought of using it to chat with Tom. The butterflies began in her stomach; it has been a few weeks since she saw him. Her hair was a mess and her makeup smeared from lying on the couch watching the movie. She followed his instructions and was soon connected to chat wit him. A few moments went by until she saw his face staring back at her.

She burst into a fit of giggles, letting her nerves take over instead of her brain. The questioning look Tom was giving her didn't help either!

"So you greet me with giggles?"

She let herself go for another minute before catching her breath and settling down. "I'm sorry, I let my nerves take over. It is exciting knowing that I can see you whenever I want too!"

His smile melted her heart; she saw the sparkle in his eyes and could see happiness written all over his face.

"Hi Emma! Can she hear me Tom? TOM?! Can she see me? I can see her!" Bill's voice could be heard yelling in the background.

"Hello Bill! I can't see you, but I can hear you!"

"Oh my dear Emma, how you need to be here. Tom spends the day moping around and is no fun anymore."

"Just ignore Bill, I think all that hairspray finally got the best of him." Tom replied.

The chat was long and lasted well into the early morning; Tom let her know how the tour was going and the energy fans excluded at each concert. He again offered up to fly her out but she declined, as her schedule was full at work. It was now that she scolded herself for over scheduling and deciding to be a workaholic. They decided to start Skyping a few nights a week instead of phone calls, being able to see each other was a perk. Of course Tom had a few other things in mind, but Emilene couldn't bring herself to be that outlandish.

Emilene placed her lap top on the floor next to her couch and let herself be overcomed by her dreams.


	17. Chapter 17

"This isn't happening to me!" Emilene groaned. "Why are they now just deciding to print this with such a false story?"

Michelle raised her eyebrows and grabbed the gossip magazine Emilene was tightly gripping onto.

"_Lovers Quarrel? Tom Kaulitz and Mystery Woman Upset!"_

"What's worse is that they spun some story about me being pregnant, being Tom's mystery chick for years and what not. Its such… such bull!"

"Did they identify you at all? Do you notice anyone following you around?" nervously Michelle asked.

Emilene shook her head. "I saw several of the magazines and purchased them once I saw my face on the cover. If you look at the _InTouch_ magazine they have a call out with some information on me. I have a feeling Rico is going to be upset."

Emilene let her head fall into her hands as she continued to groan. She knew that eventually there would be a possibility of her being spotted with Tom. But she didn't think it would be this soon, nor would anyone be interested about their goodbye at the airport almost two months ago.

"What does Tom think about this?"

Michelle's question brought her back to reality. Tom. What was Tom going to think? The guys were used to being in the spotlight and having stories, fictitious or not plastered throughout magazines.

"I don't know, I haven't spoken to him about this yet." Emilene began to chew on her lower lip, afraid that Tom would be upset. Afraid that Tom would think she wanted the publicity, when in fact, she would rather be in the background, unseen and unheard.

"Well, my opinion is that he won't be upset. If he is going to have an attitude it will be with the photographers and horrible writers at these magazines." With that, Michelle grabbed the stack of magazines and threw them into the trashcan near the coffee bistro's door.

Slowly Emilene grabbed her purse and workbag, she was still breathing fast and had to steady herself as she got up. Her feet felt heavy as lead as she made her way to Michelle's side. The walk to the studio felt longer than usual, it seemed that every stranger they passed was staring at her. She was becoming uncontrollably paranoid; Michelle could sense it and wrapped her arm around Emilene's shoulder.

They separated once in the lobby, now this would be the walk of shame to the photography studio. She could hear the music as she made her way, going over scenarios in her head of how Rico would react. She began to tug at her silver tunic and her hands were shaking as she opened the oversize metal doors to the studio.

"My dearest Em, please come into my office please."

_Here it goes, first he will cut me down and talk about the awful decision I made in becoming involved with a musician. Then he will rip apart my work and hand me my pink slip._

Tears began to take over her vision; quickly she wiped them from her eyes and stood in Rico's office doorway.

"Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost or heard some bad news! Please sit Em." Rico motioned to the white chair in front of his desk.

Emma plopped down into the white fabric, clutching onto the chair arms. Rico walked from behind with a cup of coffee in his hand and a stack of magazines in the other. _Magazines?!_

Her breathing began to get heavy and fast, her palms started to become sweaty and she felt her heartbeat escalate.

"I would like to discuss some things that have to my attention."

Emilene gulped and nodded her head.

"Now I know that ninety five percent of the stuff in these trash magazines are fabricated. But please understand that I don't see you just as an employee but an extension of my family personally."

Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest; she just wanted Rico to get on with it.

"Thank you." Her voice cracked.

Rico began to chuckle, "Em, believe me you have nothing to be worried about! Please relax, you look like you are about to fall over any minute."

Emilene looked down at her hands, they were gripping on the arms of the chair turning her knuckles white. She didn't realize how tightly she was gripping until she unlocked her figures and rubbed them on her hips.

"Now, as I was saying, I just want to make sure that everything is ok. Is your relationship with Tom Kaulitz ok? These stories just do not sound like you at all and I just want to make sure that you are ok."

Emilene sighed with relief; she needed to stop over analyzing and worrying so much.

"Everything is absolutely fine with Tom and I, I can assure you that I am not pregnant, we were not fighting or causing a scene. The photos are over two months old; it is just me upset about leaving him." Hastily, Emilene pulled out her water bottle from her bag and gulped down some water.

"I am more worried about Tom and the band, about what they would think. I know that they are use to stories being fabricated, but I don't know if he would be offended."

Rico pressed his fingers to his lips, shaking his head in agreeance. "You know Em, there has been a great opportunity offered recently and to be honest you were the first person that came to mind. I think a change of scenery will do you good, help clear your head and get you exposure at our sister office."

"A recent opportunity? What is it about?" her interested pique.

"Sylvia over at MTV Germany has been looking into expanding their photography studio, but there is a catch. Not only would you be in charge of photography, there is also some hosting duties also."

Hosting duties? As if Rico didn't know how painfully shy he was already, why was she his first choice?

Rico continued, fumbling through some papers on his desk. "I know you aren't the person to jump at the chance of speaking in front of people, but you would be eased into. First, some news shorts, then some video interviews as you shoot cliental, and hopefully some hosting on carpets of events and shows. I wouldn't have thought of you if I didn't think you were qualified and capable of doing it."

Emilene was floored, not only was she going to be the head photographer but she was also going to be seen and heard.

"The catch is that you have two days to pack up everything and move to Germany. There is a furnished apartment and car with your name on it, it is a trial run so you will be there for six months. If you need time to think it through, I understand."

Emilene got up from her chair and made her way over to Rico. She bent down and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Thank you" she softly spoke and tears came down her face.

Rico patted her arm and returned the hug. "I really hate to see you go, but I am very proud of you. Now go home, pack and enjoy your last few days in New York."

Emilene smiled and made her way out of the studio, she hurried down the hall and out onto the street. She threw her arms up in the air and let out a huge laugh, ignoring the stares from strangers. She began to think about the time she would spend with Tom as she made her way back to her apartment.

* * *

"You will be in Germany for six months! That is fantastic! Possibility of longer if your trial period is good? Emma, I am so happy for you!" Tom beamed.

"I will be arriving in Berlin on Friday around four o'clock."

Tom was ecstatic; although it has only been two months it felt like an eternity. Emma was going to be living in Germany, in Berlin, only a two-hour drive from him. HE would be able to see her as much as he could, and he knew that they would cross paths at her work. Tokio Hotel was a fixture at the MTV Germany studios

"Tom?" Emma's worried voice brought him back from his thoughts.

"I don't know if you have had a chance to see any of the gossip magazines recently."

Tom began to chew on his lip ring; he didn't know what Emma was getting at. A worrisome feeling began to boil in his stomach; he figured that some old groupie sold a fake story.

"No, I generally try to not focus on them." Coldly he replied.

Being taken back by his response, Emilene didn't know whether to continue or not. But, she decided it was for the best to just get it off her chest. After she re-told the fabricated stories to Tom she felt a wave of relief wash over her.

"Oh Emma you had me worried for a minute. They are going to spin any photo into a story that they can make money on. If it bothered you I am sorry, please don't be offended by what some stranger says."

They both began to laugh. "I can't believe that they even said that I was pregnant!"

"I think I would know if you were pregnant, you would tell me." Tom hesitated for a moment. "You're not pregnant are you?" Sheepishly he asked.

He had to pull the phone away as Emma's loud laughter startled him. He knew what the answer was and chuckled at himself for thinking otherwise.

"I will see you Friday Tom."

"I will be waiting for you Em."

"I love you."

"I love you too." With a click the phone went dead. Tom lay back onto the couch and smiled. It seemed as everything was beginning to fall into place.


	18. Chapter 18

"I thought you drove a car before!" Tom replied in between his fits of laughter.

Angrily, Emilene stopped on the gas pedal lunging the car towards the ramp out of the garage. "I don't remember it being this hard, or the pedals being so sensitive!"

"That's because you need to slowly push down on the gas pedal, not stomp on it." Tom exclaimed, while trying to calmly talk in between his laughter.

"I'm not **stupid** Tom, I have driven a car before! Just nothing as nice as this, more like old beaters that last a few months. I didn't see the need for a car in New York!" her foot hit the brake and caused them to be pull hard back into their seats.

Emilene knew she was going to be driving a company car around; she thought it would be something economical and not too expensive. Instead she was driving a Mercedes, and they trusted her to drive it. It had been a few years since she drove a car, and now she was becoming worried that she would run them into the side of the garage or run over a crowd of children.

"Ok Em, how about you pull over to that side of the garage there." Tom pointed across the garage to the left side. For a Friday evening there weren't many cars parked in the apartment garage.

"I am starting to get sick, maybe you can drive Tom and we can continue this tomorrow?" Emilene looked up to Tom shaking his head.

"No. You really need to practice, I don't want to see your face all over the TV for running over pedestrians'."

Emilene slowly pushed down on the gas pedal and the car lunged forward. "Brake! BRAKE!" Tom screamed.

Emilene stopped the car inches away from the garage wall. She leaned back into the driver's seat and let out a loud sigh. "You are right, we can continue this tomorrow." Tom whispered as he put the car in park.

She could see how shaken up he was as he climbed out of the passenger seat and made his way over to the drivers side. He opened the door and unbuckled her out of the seat. "I take it your more freaked out than I am?" he asked.

Emilene nodded "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I could forget how to drive. Ugh, this is going to be awful. Perhaps I can carpool with another worker or take the train."

Tom climbed into the drivers seat and adjusted the mirrors, Emilene put on her seat belt while Tom fumbled with the radio. She watched the concentration on his face and he tried to get a German rap song to come in clearly. After a few moments of fumbling he had success. Emilene silently laughed as she saw the excitement light up in his eyes and he began to rap along with the song.

"My little rapper." She chuckled.

"Who are you calling little? At least I can drive!"

Fearing that he may have overstepped his boundary, he looked over to see Emilene staring at him with the biggest smile. Before he could get a word out she pulled him into kiss.

Her hands made their way up to his face; she needed to confirm that she wasn't dreaming. That she was in Germany, and in her car with Tom. The aftertaste of nicotine on his lips was faint, and Emilene surprised herself with how hungry he kiss seemed. She missed his touch, his smell and how he felt… most of all she just missed him.

Tom was a bit thrown back by how Emilene responded. When he picked her up at the airport, she skipped towards him, dropped her bags on the ground, and jumped into his arms. The longing he felt in her embrace and kiss then was the same that he felt now. He didn't mind, because he felt the same and was just happy to have her with him.

He could feel her hands drop from his face down to his chest. He twisted his left hand in her hair and could smell her shampoo when her hair moved under his grip. He pulled her back with his right hand and just stared into her deep brown eyes. He could get lost in them for hours, unlike his chocolate eyes, hers had a tint of gold mixed in that was more prominent when she was passionate about something. Now, he could see the gold shining through. He removed his hand from her hair and brought it to her lips. He began to trace them with his index finger.

"I'm really glad that you decided to take this opportunity Em."

Her lips turned up into a sly smile and he pulled his hand away from her mouth, placing it on her leg.

"What makes you think that I wouldn't take it?"

She got him there, not a single reason could come across his mind why she didn't jump on it. "Well, I know why you did take it."

Her eyebrows arched "Please indulge me." She teased.

"I'm Tom Kaulitz, you don't say no to me. Also, because I am just the best looking guy you ever had the pleasure of meeting."

Emilene rolled her eyes at Tom and playfully punched him in the chest. "You got me there killer."

They both fell back into their seats and Tom started the car. "Now its time for the Tom tour. It won't be filled with shopping like a Bill tour, but I guarantee that will happen when you first see Bill."

"As long as we can eat first, I am game." Emilene giggled.

"By the way Em, I would be taking notes and paying attention on how a sane person drives."

They both turned and look at each, laughter erupting from both of their mouths.


	19. Chapter 19

**Eight months later…**

_Grumble… grumble…_

Emilene looked down at her stomach and placed her hand over it. She looked back up at Tom feeling the redness rush to her face. It had to have been at least fifteen minutes since their waitress took their order, what was taking so long?

"The smell of the food is tantalizing me Tom." Emilene sighed heavily and leaned back into the booth.

"I can hear the protest in your stomach, it should be coming any moment, Em."

Moments later their feast of pasta, chicken, salad, rolls and cheese was spread out before them. Emilene piled over size portions of chicken and pasta on her plate, using a separate plate for her salad, cheese and a few rolls. Once she felt she had enough food she started to eat, making small talk in between her mouthfuls of food. Tom just had a plate of salad and some pasta, while eating he watched Emma devour her meal like it was her last. He couldn't help but let a few chuckles escape his lips.

"Something funny?" Emilene questioned with pasta still hanging out of her mouth.

"You. If you could only see what you look like right now, you would be laughing also."

Emilene slurped the pasta hanging from her mouth, took a big gulp of her Coke and slammed the glass down. She puffed out her chest and tried to muffle her giggles. "I'm a growing girl, I need my nutrients!"

"Don't forget the bib!"

Emilene looked down and noticed that her white t-shirt was stained from the pasta sauce. More traces of the sauce got on her white and black skirt flowered skirt. "Oh gosh, you can't take me anywhere."

Tom, letting his laughter get the best of him, "No, no I can't."

* * *

All these brands and labels screaming out to her, "pick me, pick me", but she still had no idea what one to buy. Some said you could find out six days after, others had digital read outs while some still use the line technique. Just wanting to find out the answer, she grabbed one of each and threw them into her hand basket. She made her way down the liquor aisle and grabbed a bottle of champagne; heck if there was a reason to celebrate, might as well be ready?

The elderly clerk rang her up, and after the fifth box asked why she was buying so many boxes. Frankly, Emilene couldn't answer the question, so she just told the elderly woman she just wanted too as positive as she could be when she found out. The elderly woman smiled sweetly at her and gave her best after Emilene paid.

Hastily she made her way to the warm car waiting for her. She jumped into the passenger seat and looked down at her feet. Even after accepting her new position and becoming a permanent citizen in Germany, she still wasn't comfortable driving her car around. Bill looked over to her and sighed.

"Did you get what you needed?" he reached over and gently moved her hair away from her face.

She looked up from her feet and wiped the few traces of tears from her cheeks. "Bill, I still don't understand how this could be happening. We took every precaution and now our lives may change."

He grabbed the bag from Emma's hands and put it on the floor behind her seat. He began to shush her as he pulled her into a hug. "Rest assure that if this is really happening it will be a gift, and I really think Tom is ready to start a new chapter in his life."

Emilene sniffled and sobbed into Bill's chest, the worry of how Tom would react was always in the back of her mind. She knew he wouldn't be upset, but yet there was a small shred of doubt. They already just went through a rollercoaster of problems with fans recently coming out and accusing Tom of infidelity. There was the issue with the group of French fans, and Tom letting his frustration getting the best of him. It seemed everything was going back to how it was, and then she wasn't on her usual schedule, started to feel fatigued, and that's when it hit her that her life could be changing.

"Will you please stay with me while I go through each one?" Emilene whispered.

Bill pulled her face up into his hands and smiled. "Emma, I am here to help you with whatever you need. Don't you worry, when we find out I will be here also for you."

"Thank you Bill, you are wonderful."

The car drive back to her apartment was silent except for the house music playing quietly in the background. Emilene never really understood why Bill didn't have a girlfriend. He was an excellent guy, caring, and full of life, energy, and so much love to give. After moving to Germany, she became closer to Bill and considered him to be a very close friend to her. She found it easier talking to Bill about her problems than her friends back in New York. Michelle and Ian had become distant several months after her move, she couldn't blame them. The time change was difficult to keep a friendship going and the three of them were beginning to make names for themselves in their careers. She was happy to see their success, but also sadden at the distance between them.

"We have arrived." Bill grabbed the bag from behind Emilene's seat and got out of the car.

"Thank you for driving Bill, my mind just isn't focused today."

Bill placed his arm around Emilene's shoulder and hugged her. "I understand and was more than happy to help."

Once they entered her apartment, they both made way to her bathroom. Emilene put the champagne in the fridge, ignoring Bill's questioning look. "What if there is a need to celebrate?"

She dumped the bag onto the bathroom counter; seven different boxes were spread in front of them. She held her breath and hesitated on which one to try first.

"This one." Bill shoved a purple and pink box in her hand. "I am going to grab some paper towel and make an area where we can lay each one to compare."

Emilene nodded and walk around the wall next to the counter and sat on the toilet. Her hands began to shake as she opened up the box and unwrapped the test from its packaging. She began to breath heavily as she peed on the first test, her hands still shaking. A thin white hand extended past the wall with another test, this time unwrapped and Emilene placed the used test on the paper towel Bill set at her feet. This continued until all seven tests were used, when she was done she grabbed the random pieces of paper towel with the tests on them and placed them onto the counter in the area Bill sectioned off for her. Already some of the results were displaying on the earlier tests.

"Bill I don't know about this!" she cried while washing her hands.

"Shhh… just wait and then we can go over all of them at once."

The moments that passed felt like hours, Emilene just wanted time to speed up so she could find out. She turned and looked over Bill's face, his eyebrows pressed together gave away that he was thinking intently. But, then his eyebrows gave way and his face softened; he turned to Emilene and grabbed her hands.

"Emma, please have no doubt, you will be an excellent mother."

Emilene eyes turned towards the tests, sure enough all seven displayed that she was indeed pregnant. Her eyes darted back over to Bill's and the tears that overcame both of their faces were of love and joy.

* * *

Emma's frantic voice worried Tom, he ran out of the house and into his car. He knew that he shouldn't have let Bill go alone to visit with her, after everything that they had just been through he should have known better. He drove franticly, speeding down the streets, blowing through red lights and stop signs before realizing that he didn't even give her a chance to say why she was calling.

"_Tom?" Emilene's voice cracked over the phone. He knew that she was crying, he could her Bill's shaky voice in the background also. _

"_Emma you don't move, stay at your place and I will be right over." _

"_T-Tom everything is o…"_ _Without hesitation he hung up the phone._

He felt like a jackass, he let his imagination get the best of him. He slowed down as he approached Emma's apartment and parked next to her car. The elevator ride up to her floor he contemplated how he was going to apologize for his outlandish behavior. He entered her apartment without knocking and saw Bill sitting on the couch with red eyes.

"Bill what happened? Why are you crying?"

Bill waved Tom away and motioned for him to sit down next to him. Tom didn't feel like sitting down, he wanted to know what was going on and where was Emma?

Emma emerged from the kitchen with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. She handed a glass to each twin, filled it up with champagne and sat down next to Tom.

"Emma what is going on? Why have you been crying?"

"Please relax Tom. I-I…"

"No I will not relax! I drive over here thinking terrible has happened and come to find out that my suspicions' may be correct! Tell me what is going on and why the hell do I have champagne?"

Bill let out a laugh and sipped his champagne. "Big brother, please let Emma speak."

Tom stared at Bill intently before turning back to Emma's soft expression. He set the glass down on the coffee table and moved next to Emma.

"Tom I have no doubts in your ability to be a father."

"My abilities to be a father? What does that mean?"

Emilene sighed before gaining her composure. "Tom, we are having a baby. I'm pregnant."

_Pregnant._ The word hit him hard, it felt like all the wind was knocked out of his chest and all he could see was black. _Father?_ He was going to be a father? He drifted his eyes back to Emma's and saw the excitement and love in them, how could he be scared when he had someone like her who believed so much in him?

"I'm going to be a father. I am going to have a child. Emma, I love you so much, I-I don't know…" He was silenced by her gripping hug.

"You will be a great father Tom, she needs you more now than ever." Bill whispered.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Author's Note: There will only be a few chapters left, I just feel that it needs to end soon instead of dragging it out and making it not feel "natural." I am wrapping up the ending and will have it posted in a few days, I need to let it sink and come back to see if I am happy with it.**_

_**********_

Presents where piled on top of the antique table. Emilene's eyes gazed upon them wondering how much stuff a baby actually needed. Every color of the rainbow danced across the table with sentiments of "Congratulations", "Welcome Baby", and such. Bodies of guests swirled past her and it felt like the earth was spinning out of control. She rested her hands around her belly and cradled it, a nervous habit she picked up once her baby bump began showing. It made her feel comfortable and also felt like she was putting up a shield to the world.

Tom turned the corner to find her standing there staring at the colorful assortment of gifts. He could feel her becoming uncomfortable and nervous around everyone, half of the people she had no idea who they were. Emma's family background was shaky, and when he tried to trace relatives that he thought would like to see her, his searches came up empty. It was as if she just came from nothing.

His eyes darted around the room at all the smiling faces, laughter singing through the air, warm embraces of his close family and friends, but she was standing there alone. Slowly, he walked up behind her, placed his arms over hers and on the baby bump. His chin rested on her shoulder.

"Please don't be nervous, they all love you." Gently he squeezed her, not wanting to hurt the baby. He felt her body tremble under his touch and he knew that inside she was hurting.

"I-I know. It's… just a very difficult time for me right now." She turned and her eyes glistened. He could see that she was trying to fit back her tears. He wanted to take the pain away from her.

* * *

"_Are you sure there isn't anyone that you remember from when you were a child? Did you parents ever speak of any aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents?_

_Emilene shook her head. "I never met anyone else in my family, it was always my parents and I growing up. But after their…" tears began to fall from her eyes "accident, I just had Michelle and her mom."_

_Tom wrapped Emilene into a hug, how could her family not want to be in her life? It just didn't make sense to him. There had to be more information, background story… something on why she grew up like that._

_Softly whispering in her ear Tom mentioned for them to go a genealogist and see if they were able to help find any family members. Emilene agreed, as she also wanted to know about her family, about her parents past. All she had were a few photos and memories of them; she had to have met a grandparent or cousin._

_The genealogist was able to find some information, but nothing futile that would help them out. As luck would have it, Emilene's mom was adopted and no one knew who her biologicial parents were. Her fathers' parents were traced, but they both died a year after Emilene was born in an Upstate New York senior facility. Every piece of information led them to dead ends. Emilene was alone and Tom was her family._

_

* * *

  
_

Tom cradled her head in his hands, softly kissing her lips. "I love you Emma, you are a part of my family. Everyone isn't here for me, they are here for you and Baby K."

A small smile spread across her lips, Tom's parents were more than welcoming when they found the news about the baby. Emilene already had an outstanding relationship with Simone; from the first moment they met they talked for hours. When Simone brought out the baby photo albums, Tom knew that she was the one. His mother was often wary of new friends and girlfriends they brought home, but she sensed the goodness in Emilene's heart. Bill already considered her to be his sister, often giving **her** advice on how to wear her makeup and what outfit would grab Tom's attention. But most of all, it was Tom who became more attentive, slowly through the first five months of her pregnancy, she opened up to Tom about her home life growing up. She knew it would be hard, but it would also shed light on who she was. Some nights ended up in heated arguments leaving Emilene to wonder if he would come back. Tom always did, he couldn't leave her, not like how people who were suppose to love her did. It was how her caregivers treated her that upset him the most. To leave a three-year-old child that just lost her parents on the streets sickened him. If he ever ran into them, he didn't want to think what he would do. The relationship between Michelle and Emilene waned, no longer did they speak and he knew that took a toll on her. Often at nights he would hear her cry on the balcony, why did she have to suffer?

Baby K brought a new light to her, at night he would hear her sing softly to the baby. Giggling when she felt Baby K kicking her stomach, the first time he felt the baby kick, he was at a lost for words. After that moment he talked to her stomach, he would grab his guitar and play chords, while singing to the baby.

Together they decided to not find out the baby's sex, they wanted it to be a surprise before naming their child. They tossed some names back and forth, but could never really agree on one.

Tom moved into Emilene's apartment a few weeks after her first ultrasound, he wanted to be with her during her pregnancy as much as he could. It was easy as the band was working on their new album and decided to in Germany, management let them take longer so Tom could be around when Emilene gave birth.

* * *

_It was seven months into her pregnancy when Tom proposed. They were sitting down among photos, glue, stickers and scrapbook pages, putting together a baby book detailing the major steps through her pregnancy. They sat there talking and enjoying sundaes Tom made them, chocolate ice cream, with hot caramel sauce, gummy bears, sour skittles and frosted Cheerio's for Emilene. Laughing about her off the wall cravings when an oversize, green bear was placed next to her. Emilene placed her sundae on the carpet next to her, eyeing the bear._

"_What is this? A gift from someone for the baby?"_

_Tom just sat there across from Emma, watching her expression change from questioning into contemplation. She was thinking of were to put the bear in the room, he wet his lips, and move over to her side._

"_No, this is a gift from me to Baby K. I saw it while Bill and I were picking up the crib the other day." Tom saw her expression softened and turn into adoration, he could hear her sniffle._

"_I love it Tom, and I know Baby K will too. W-wait, what is this around its neck?" Slowly Emilene leaned forward and untied the bright green ribbon tied around the stuffed bears neck. She brought the ribbon to her and opened her hands, in her hand sat a delicate white gold band with a emerald cut pink diamond. Small diamonds surrounded it, while more diamonds decorated the band. She felt her body go weak, her hands began to sweat and her mind was swirling._

_Her tear filled eyes flickered up to Tom, but he wasn't standing there. She turned to her side to find him sitting on his knees next to her. He grabbed the ring out of her hand and held it with his thumb and index finger._

"_Emma, never in my wildest dreams did I believe I would be in love, never the less, fall in love with a woman like you. You have been there for me at my worse, and at my best. Never once did you stop believing in me, nor did your love ever change for me." Tom took in a deep breath "I can't picture my life without you in it, please say that you will grow old with me as my wife."_

_Tear slowly fell down her face; her hand fell down to her stomach, a small giggle escaped her lips through her cries._

"_I would love to grow old with you Tom and be your wife. It also seems that Baby K is also happy to be apart of this great moment." Tom wrapped Emilene into a hug and placed his right hand on her belly, feeling the kicks Baby K was giving._

_

* * *

  
_

Now, here they were a few days before the baby's due date surrounded by the ones who loved them. Emilene sucked in a few deep breaths before kissing Tom on the cheek. "I love you too, now lets go enjoy the baby shower." She exclaimed with a soft smile.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Author's Note: Last chapter. It was very hard to end this, and I am still not happy with this chapter. I may come back and edit it, but I feel I must finish and let this be before I decide to come back. I appreciate you - the readers - for your reviews. It meant a lot, and thank you!**_

_********************_

They were opening their gifts when she started to feel a sharp pain in her side. She continued to ignore it until she felt something warm trickling down her leg. The sharp pain became more intense as she grabbed Tom's arm.

"Emma… you're hurting me." Tom looked down at the tight grip she had over his forearm, but she sat there frozen with a pained expression on her face.

"Emma what is wrong?!" she turned to face him with her lips trembling.

"Tom, I-I think my water broke. I c-can't move, the pain is becoming intense!" Tom looked down and noticed a small pool of water around her chair.

"Mom! Bill! It's time!" Tom shouted through the house, guests who still lingered rushed over to see the couple sitting there frantic. "Emma you are going to have to let go of my arm so I can grab your bag."

Emma shook her head and loosened her grip around Tom's arm. Simone appeared with a wet cloth and placed it on Emma's forehead,. "Emma, honey, please try to relax and practice your breathing. It will alleviate some of the pressure and pain you are feeling."

Simone grabbed Emma by the waist and helped her outside. Tom's SUV was blocked in by guests cars. Emma let out a few grunts through her teeth, as she surveyed the driveway to see whose car they could take.

Bill sped up to the curb of Simone's house and honked. He jumped out of the car, opening the back door as Emma waddled her way. She pulled herself in the car and kept doing her breathing as Simone wiped her forehead.

"Where the hell is Tom?" Emma grumbled through her breaths. "How about I pull his bottom lip over his head, then he can feel the pain I am feeling right now."

Simone patted Emma's arm and yelled at Bill to find Tom. Seeing the twisted expression on Emma's face, he knew that he should not waste anytime. Bill turned on his heels and ran into the house calling for Tom, the still lingering guests conversing over what they just saw.

"Tom! Tom where the hell are you?" Bill heard a noise down the hallway and rushed over.

Tom was standing over Emma's hospital bag with a blank expression. "What is wrong?" Bill questioned as he ran up to his twin's side.

"I… I am scared Bill. I… I don't know if I will be a good-"

"Enough of that talk Tom, we really need to get Emma to the hospital." Bill grabbed Tom by the shoulders and gave him a reassuring hug. "Tomas, I have never seen such adoration, love, and respect for you as I have from Emma. The woman who is about to give birth to your child, if that isn't consolation for you… then I don't know what else to say."

"You're right Bill" together they made their way back to the car, trying to not let Emma's cries upset them.

Bill turned towards Tom right as they reached the car. "I would watch what you say, she already threatened to pull your bottom lip over your head."

Thirteen hours. The longest thirteen hours he could have ever went through. Her cries of pain were finally subsided when Emilene was told that she could have the epidural. The first seven hours were the hardest, before the epidural it was a constant string of words and phrases that even Tom never heard of. Simone stayed by her side the entire time, soothing her, calming her, and letting her yell at everyone. At first her words stung, but his mother reassured him that it wasn't really Emilene talking. It was the motions of going into labor.

After Emilene received the epidural, the commotion settled in the room. Every so often he would hear her heavy breathing. Never did he leave her side, while she was sleeping he would hold onto her left hand, admiring the ring her gave her. Commitment. The one thing he was absolutely afraid of, and now he just committed himself to her and their child. The woman in front of him turned his world around, he would move mountains for her, swim a thousand laps around the world to make her happy. It was always Tom that came first, but she had him rethink his whole entire through process. She made him want to be a better man and want to do good for her.

Ten hours into her labor and the contractions started closer together. She didn't cry from pain, instead she commented that it felt like she was "taking a shit" out of the wrong orifice. Poor Bill left the room after the comment, his face flushed red, as he never heard such language from Emilene. Emilene always kept her composure around Bill, he embarrassed easily and sometimes she would say certain things to shock him. She would always tell Tom that she didn't want to "taint" Bill, that she loved how pure and innocent he was. Tom tried to be like Bill, but it only lasted for a day, much to Emma's joy. She always enjoyed Tom's outlandish personality, his big mouth and boisterous ego.

Thirteen hours until their baby was born. The cries brought tears immediately to her face; the happiness that lit up her face brought him to the verge of tears. He now had a child to also love and protect. A child with the woman he loved.

"Alexandria" her voice shook him from his thoughts.

Tom gently picked up the newborn; afraid he would damage the baby. "What did you say?"

Emilene let out a small giggle. "Alexandria? For her name, I was thinking…"

"It's perfect. My little Alexandria." Tom bent down and kissed Alexandria's forehead before placing her back into Emma's arms.

"I love you Emma."

"I love you Tom. But I can't wait to get out of here and be back home with Alexandria. Hospitals creep me out."

Shaking his head in, Tom made his way out into the lobby where Simone and Bill took off once the baby was born, so that the new parents could spend time together.

"Is she ok?" Bill asked worriedly.

"Yes, everything is ok. Alexandria would like to say hi to her grandmother and godfather."

"Godfather?" Bill's eyes lit up.

"Right after Alexandria was placed into Emma's arms, she told me without hesitation that she really wanted you to be the baby's Godfather. I can't argue with her choice."

"Thank you, it means so much to me." Bill softly replied.

Nights came and went by with not much sleep. But the joy of waking up together to see what troubled Alexandria was surprising. Usually she needed to be changed or feed, but other times Emma would hold her and rock her in her rocking chair. Tom would softly play his guitar and sing some songs, other times he would just play some chords. Within a few moments, Alexandria would fall back asleep with her parents watching her in awe.

"How did you know I loved that song?" Emma whispered.

"Which one?"

Emilene looked up from the baby and her soft eyes rested upon Tom's. Despite not having a decent amount of sleep she still took his breath away. "Sacred."

Nervously he didn't know how to respond. He didn't really know that Emma liked their music. She rarely mentioned their music or what she thought about it. Perhaps she was letting him enjoy what he loved and did not want to taint it?

"The lyrics are just magical, they really helped me when I realized I was falling in love with you." Emilene had placed Alexandria back in her crib and wrapped her arms around Tom.

"I never was good at opening myself up to people, then you came along and challenged everything that I thought and believed in. You were the complete opposite of what I would go for. You were loud, boisterous, thick-headed, but the compassion you showed me, the willingness to open yourself up to me, really changed my perception." Tom could feel her chest moving with every breath. Her arms tightened around his waist and he knew that she didn't have to say anything else.

Without hesitation, he spun himself around to face her. Emilene's eyes were wide and filled with tears. He hungrily pulled her into a kiss and let his body show her the love he would always have for her.

* * *

It was on their anniversary that their lives would be forever changed. They wanted to bring Alexandria with them, who now four, to their overnight stay in Paris. Emilene now was able to drive and learn how to drive in Germany. It was difficult to remember that the stops signs looked different than back in the states, and the round a bouts! Oh, how she despised them so! The sun was shining bright, making her smile wider. She was going to be celebrating her anniversary with her husband and her daughter. Their wedding was a small family affair, close friends and relatives gathered in the backyard of Simone's house as they were wed. It was everything that Emilene could ever dream of. They waited until Alexandria was three, so she could be apart of their special day. Alexandria looked precious in her white lace dress with a grass green ribbon tied around the middle. At first she was confused on what to do, but Bill grabbed her hand and she skipped down the aisle with him throwing the flowers around. When they arrived at the alter loudly Alexandria declared that she was going to stay next to Bill. It had everyone laughing that was in attendance and helped calm down Emilene's nerves as she waited to walk down the aisle.

The soft melody flooded her mind as she kept breathing in and out. Her legs felt wobbly in her heels. What if she fell? She wanted to turn and run, not from Tom, but from anxiety. Simone's gentle hand rested on the small of her back as she told her everything would be all right. Emilene wanted Simone to walk her down the aisle, in many ways she reminded Emilene of her own mother. The relationship she had with Simone grew immensely in the years they knew each other. Together they glided down the aisle, the ivory lace floating when the wind blew. The soft delicate curls hung loosely around Emilene's face, with some white lilies clipped up in her hair. Tightly she gripped her bouquet of white lilies and grass green carnations. It was Tom that took her breath away. She didn't think Tom would have worn a tuxedo, but he did. He looked breathtakingly beautiful, she couldn't keep her eyes off of him. The ceremony was short; each reciting vows that they wrote for each other. Not a dry eye remained in their attendance; guests flooded the newly married couple with words of gratitude, love, and encouragement. It was a new chapter in their lives together, a chapter that included their daughter.

_**Honk!**_

Startled by the horn Emilene stepped on the gas and drove through the green light. A loud screeching could be heard to her left, she turned to see the large 18-wheeler coming towards her. Frozen in her fear she braced herself for the impact. "I love you Tom. I love you Alexandria."

Bill was the first to make it to the scene of the accident. Metal pieces lay across the intersection; firefighters were still trying to put out the fire that started when the collision happened. He scanned the scene for ambulances; he hurried over to the first police officer he could find who directed him to an area next to the tow truck. Bill stopped in his tracks, there was Emilene's car, and the black metal was all twisted and distorted. The windows had been busted out and the roof was missing. Somehow he knew what was to come, he braced himself and slowly pulled out his cell phone from his back pocket. Tears dropped on the keypad as he dialed Tom's number.

"Please don't pick up…" he mumbled.

"Bill?"

"Shit."

"Bill what is it? What is that noise in the background? Where are you?" panic started to rise in Tom's voice.

"Tom, I need you to drive over to mom's house right now."

"...What? Why Bill? This is nonsense, I am suppose to be leaving with Alexandria to meet Emma at the airport."

"NOW! Leave Alexandria with Georg or Gustav, I just need you to listen to me and get to moms immediately."

"Bi-" Bill hung up. He felt himself start to panic, if anyone had to make sure, it was going to be him. He wouldn't let Tom come to the scene to find his wife dead on the road.

Bill began to pray that Emilene was ok, that at worst she had some broken bones. He could make out some loud cries of desperation behind him. He backtracked to find the ambulances parked near an alley. His eyes already confirmed what his mind feared.

********************

Weeks went by. Weeks filled of silence, despair, anger and depression. Alexandria stayed with Simone for her benefit, no one wanted her to witness what Tom was going through. First his anger took over, he was angry at the whole situation. It was their anniversary, a time to celebrate and be happy. Instead he had to mourn the loss of the one he loved. He was angry with the person who honked at Emilene to drive; he wanted to rip the guy's head off. He was presented with the opportunity when he went to the hospital to identify his wife. Instead he let his anger go and focused on the matter at hand.

His wife, she wasn't even recognizable. Her once gentle face was covered in liaisons and blood. Her body looked like someone ran over her numerous times. Without thinking he rushed over and pulled her bloodied and mangled body into his arms. This wasn't real, it was all a dream, a horrible dream that he would soon wake up from. Not so.

He began to drink heavily to numb the agony he was feeling. Never leaving the house except to get more alcohol, the pain and loss was too much for him to bear. He didn't want to live anymore without her. She help hold him together, it was her faith in him that kept him going. He would cry himself to sleep at nights, wake up and drown himself with alcohol. He was selfish, how could Emilene do this to him? Why couldn't she be stronger and had survived? Why did she have to leave him?

It was Bill who put his foot down. Tom was being selfish and self-distructive, not thinking once about his daughter who needed him more than anyone. Alexandria. He completely forgot about his sweet daughter, it pained him to look at her. She was beginning to look so much like her mother, and her eyes. They could read your soul; Emilene's eyes had the same effect. It wasn't his daughter that needed him, in fact it was reversed, Tom needed Alexandria. She was the rock that helped him through the difficult times. Her innocence made him notice the goodness in the world. Slowly, he began to clean up, he began to be apart of Alexandria's life again. He would tell her stories of Emilene before bed, they would look through photo albums together and he would always sing Emilene's favorite songs to her. Together they kept her memory alive.

"Daddy! Daddy, I can't keep up!"

Tom look behind him as Alexandria struggled up the grassy hill, a laugh escaping his lips. Two years had passed since her death, they were still healing with the loss but it brought him closer to his daughter. She was his everything.

Alexandria began to giggle when she saw her father laugh. "Daddy it's not funny! Please carry me!"

Tom reached down to his now six-year-old daughter and placed her on his shoulders. "Are we close Alexandria?"

"It all looks the same daddy, you said a big brown tree… but there are millions of them!"

Tom surveyed the area and spotted the old walnut tree next to the creek. When they arrived he put Alexandria on the ground next to the white limestone.

"Do you think mommy knows that we are here?" her big brown eyes looking up into the sky.

"Yes. She knows everything that is going on in your life Alexandria." He squatted down next to his daughter pulling her into a hug.

Alexandria wrapped her small arms around Tom, giving him a gentle hug. "Do you think she reads our letters daddy?" she whispered in his ear.

The hint of sadness in her voice brought the tears to his eyes. He picked up his daughter into a tight hug; kissing her cheek lightly he looked into her eyes. Her inquisitiveness came from Emilene.

"Yes darling she does." He couldn't tell her no. He grabbed Alexandria's letter and placed it under a rock next to Emilene's tombstone, along with his. They sat there for hours, Alexandria talking about events at school, with grandma, with Uncle Bill and with Tom.

When they arrived back at home, Tom put Alexandria to bed and made his way to his bedroom. Waiting to make sure Alexandria was finally asleep, he pulled the letters from his pocket. He would always grab the letters before they left; he wanted to keep them for a reason even he couldn't understand. He lay on the bed tempted to read Alexandria's, he let temptation take over and opened it.

_Mommy,_

_I miss you very much. I had my recital today! Uncle Bill came to see me! Daddy is always there taking pictures and cheering me on. I wish you could have been there too mommy. Daddy sings me your favorite song, but don't tell him that it's my favorite too. I love you mommy. Daddy does too. He doesn't know, but sometimes at night I can hear him cry. I go in and lay with him mommy. I don't like it when daddy is sad, it makes me sad. I love you mommy and daddy says that one day I will be able to see you again. That makes me happy._

_Love – Alexandria_

Tom let it all out; he let all the tears flow. His body convulsed with each sob, with cry to have Emilene back. He didn't hear the door creak open or the patter of small feet making their way over. Soon he had his arms wrapped around his daughter, cradling her gently as he cried. He could hear small sobs escape her throat.

Together they would help each other through. Alexandria was Tom's rock, his reason to go forward with life, a life that he was able to create with his late wife. A gift so precious that kept her memory living.


End file.
